Saturday, February 5, 2011

THE INDIA POST (13 - the wrap up)

2:15 pm Jan. 24, 2011

The screen on the back of the chair in front of me says we'll arrive in 25 minutes.  I can't believe this has happened--all of it!  I can't believe I was called upon to do mission work, I can't believe I actually heard the call, I can't believe it all happened, and I can't believe it's all over now. 

Let's do a quick recap for those just tuning in-- summer of 2009 God started poking me very specifically and very persistently toward mission work with kids in India.  The message was very clear from the start, though it made very little sense to me initially.  After contacting Pioneers in the summer of 2010 (God had His work cut out for Him in calling on me.  It took em a year to pick up my feet and get going!)  I got in touch with John, who taught this missions crawler how to walk.  We set up a trip, and it was clear that each step of the way was exactly the way that God had planned it to go.  God was displaying ALL KINDS of sovereignty.  It was an amazing and humbling experience to see God working so deliberately through my tiny existence.  In accordance with His Plan, but not at all in accordance with mine, that initial trip fell through.  My host missionary decided that she would leave the field.  I, clearly not having learned my lesson yet, panicked, thinking that all was lost and what was I to do now and what about that call, God??!  And, because God is glorified in all things, a second trip fell directly into my lap.  A trip going during the same time that the original trip was planned--to work with kids... in India... AND it would be through my own church in Fort Worth.

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty
There's nothing my God cannot do (ooo ooo!)

So after God blessed me with a beautiful funds-raising experience (the part I was dreading the most), I was delighted to realize that I was really and truly going to India!  It was the only plan I had for post-graduation, and I had no idea how much I would need that.  After graduating, moving, ending a year-and-a-half-long relationship, and starting the new year, all the world was filled with newness and beauty.  I saw God's blessings pouring out all over the place.  Oh such beautiful potential!

"I believe in Christianity as I believe in the rising sun; not because I see it, but by it I can see all else." (C. S. Lewis)


That's technically where the India journaling ends.  The plane landed after that quote, and I didn't finish that entry until today (Feb. 4).  There's been a time lapse, but you deserve a better wrap up than that, so continuing on:

So the big new year looked brilliantly promising.  And terrifying.  The only thing that I could count on for 2011 was the India trip.  I had literally no plans other than that.  I'm a planner.  Do you know how terrifying it is for a planner to enter into a new year with no plans after the 24th day of the year?  The only direction God had given me, though, was, "Go to India, then let Me take care of the rest.  I love you.  I'll take care of you."

Do you know how difficult that concept is to explain to a society of planners?  I'm fairly certain that there is a veritable team of people genuinely concerned for my mental well-being because of that plan--or lack thereof.  There's a big part of me that doesn't blame them.  In our world, even our "time off" must be structured, with an end point.  You can "take [this specific amount of time] off to [do some sort of planned activity]" but you can't not have a plan.  It makes us uncomfortable!  But we weren't made to be comfortable.  I've been fighting that discomfort for months now, and I've reached a quiet joyful place with it.  Others, not so much (I love you, daddy).  But hey, that's where I am, and I've learned that the best way to make God laugh is to try to make a plan on my own.  If He can spin the world, dress the lilies, and send me to freakin INDIA (!!), I'm sure he can handle carrying me through tomorrow.

So he did it.  He took me to India.  Posts about that start here and flow straight up through January to this post.  About 15 or 16 posts total.  If you're just starting out, don't worry--some are short little dudes.  I wanted to divide them up by days rather than do one big overwhelming post (you know, like 10x longer than this one).  To understand how incredible the experience was, you'll just have to read the posts, then see the [coming soon] pictures, and then go for yourself.  Since I've been back I've had a hard time processing it all.  SO much happened, and I still don't quite know what to do with it all.  I know I'm here for a purpose, and I was sent there for a purpose, but not all of that has been revealed just yet.  I know part of it, but who knows what our great God has up His sleeve!

We've had 4 snow days in a row, and I can't fully express how amazing that's been.  I've had time to just sit.  To talk through it.  To process and write all this out.  To spend time with a charming young man named Jared.  To bake double chocolate rum cupcakes.  To make a snow angel, unpack my room, and nap--a lot.

For those of you who haven't been so much into the India posts, look forward to a post about the story of the promise of 2011, and for you hopeless romantics, there may be a sweet story heading to a blog near you sometime soon...

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