Saturday, February 5, 2011


12:26am London time, 4:26am TX time, Jan. 24, 2011

This is my 40th India page in my journal.  Wow.  I've passed our 3 cough drops, some Kleenex, and some humor on this plane thus far, and we haven't even taken off!  I'm sitting next to a lovely British couple and the wash closet.  I was boarded early because I asked for a seat change to an aisle seat.  At first I regretted asking because of the proximity to the bathroom, but I think this will be wonderful!  Finally no one kneeing me in the back!

Yesterday's flight was rough, but Tricia, a flight attendant, was precious.  36 years as a flight attendant.  Very British and friendly.  So sweet.  And flight attendant John looked weirdly like Victor Boschini--ole V.Bos.

So, I don't know how to rebuke in love with grace while still making the point..  That's the next big place of growth I need to focus on.  Also, I can be quite condescending to people sometimes. It was pointed out to me last year that I do this, and thus I now catch myself at it sometimes.  I don't know why that tone is any kind of normal to me.  It's all pride.  It's all way too much pride.  If I'm going to be a good representative of Jesus Christ, if I'm going to be a good wife, if I'm going to be a good mother, I need to learn to recognize pride in myself, learn how to kill it, and learn how to override it with grace and love.  God, help me.  That's going to be a long hard journey.  Bless me with an understanding husband and merciful friends.  Give me patience with myself and others.  And please, Lord, give them patience with me...  Jesus' rebukes always sound so harsh to me when I read His words.  Is that because I am so harsh when I rebuke others?  Am I reading my own tone into Him?  I'm getting into the words of Jesus.  And Isaiah.  A little old, a little new.  Every day.  Let's do it.

Ok, 14 pages to the end of this journal.  I'm gonna take a nap, and then I'm going to write a blog post and write some letters.  We'll see what kind of a dent I can make in those 14 pages in the next 10 hours!


8:40am (TX time) Jan. 24 still

Still flying!  Watching Gandhi.  He's an incredibly impressive man.  He has flaws and such, as every human but Jesus has fallen prey to, but his dedication to human rights and to nonviolence in achieving his goals has blessed the world in a big beautiful way.  I believe the only thing that truly sets him apart from any other human with a heart is his stubborn, lifelong commitment to that stuff in his heart.  For a man who wasn't a Christian, he sure sets one heck of a lifestyle example for us.  That statement convicts all us Christ followers... As does his incredibly accurate observation about Christians:  "I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians.  They are nothing like your Christ."

Oooph.  I've heard many non-believers say that Christians are the main turn-off from Christianity.  True, they aren't looking at the right example (please please look at Jesus--not us), but also true is the fact that there should be no difference in the life of Christ and that of His followers.  I just left the presence of Native Ministries, a true Christian presence in an area where Christ followers are persecuted.  I am returning to the land of churches and lukewarm faith, which I would argue is no faith at all.  If you read that and feel prideful and defensive, I will throw a Sassy Gay Friend quote at you:  look at your life--look at your choices.  Pride and complacency have NO PLACE in Christ-like discipleship.  Just because we're born in the "Bible belt" doesn't mean we get a free pass.  It's not "just in the water."  You decide to follow Jesus, and then you do it diligently because you realize that you owe him your life.  There is nothing passive about it.  There is active prayer, active fellowship, active Scripture reading, active discipling, and an active life on mission, all of which are focused fully on the Glory of God.  A high call with a high standard.  Settle your heart for nothing less.  You are here for His Glory and what a JOYOUS purpose that is!!

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