Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Too annointed to be disappointed

That's what a friend said yesterday.

"Cole, you're too annointed to be disappointed!"

Wasn't exactly applicable yesterday ("you're too blessed to be stressed!" was far more appropriate). But it's right on the money for today.

I want and I fear. My two most frustrating feelings. Trying to figure out how much of those to shut up, rationalize, and allow. Many thanks to a dear sister in Christ for helping me with that one.

Stupid feelings.

Last day of classes! Next is dead days, the most stressful weekend of the semester, and then finals week. So 2 papers and 3 exams to go. God help us all.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Worst fear

Since childhood, my worst fear has been throwing up.

Spiders? Psh. I smoosh them.
Snakes? Some of them do good things. I avoid them all, but no overall hatred.
Things under my bed? Ok, so that's pretty scary, but that's for another post.

Throwing up, though... Trembling, paralyzing fear.

It doesn't happen often at all (praise God for that incredible blessing), but the very idea that it may happen has the power to ruin my day.

So the girl sitting next to me comes into class late, looking pale and frail. She looks at the professor and explains with hand motions and mouthing words that she is sick. That throw up kind of sick. But she, being the academic martyr that she is, has braved the natural elements to grace us all with her infected presence.

This is so incredibly not ok with me. Please, for the grace of God, if you are sick, do not--DO NOOOOOOOT--come to class sick.

My weak unrested body is not prepared to fight off throw up. It's 5 days til finals week, miss. You infect me, and you will pay for your ill deeds. Now go home.

Monday, April 26, 2010


Yep. This post is going to be about poop. The bodily function. But not my OWN poop, but rather the poop of my roommate.

So she and a group of guys are hanging out in Austin at a film festival. Lots of standing in lines and sitting in movie theatres. Not a lot of time for, YA know, private time. Time on the throne. Blessings from the bowels.

But these things must happen.

There's a small line in the ladies room, and for those of you who are familiar with the lines in ladies rooms, you know how seriously we take these things. That turnover rate has got to be GO GO GO! So a stall opens up, the handicapped stall, and my roommie walks in.

She's in the middle of doing her business, when she hears the most frightening thing one can possibly imagine:

"Maybe you can use one of the other stalls..."
and a feeble voice replies
"But I need the handicapped stall..."

My roommie, right in the middle of dropping a stink bomb into the handicapped toilet, felt her heart plummet to her toesies.

She had been in there for an understandable amount of time, considering the deed being done, so who knows how long this elderly woman had been waiting, and she was just going to have to wait a minute longer. You can't really stop natural processes halfway through and switch stalls. THIS IS ALL OR NOTHING TIME!

So roomie finishes as fast as nature would allow, and she frantically ran around the stall trying to clear the air, but it was too late. Her presence was known.

So she dashes quickly out of the stall and scurries past the legitimately old woman who was shuffling desperately with her walker toward her relief. Little did she know what she would encounter upon entering that handicapped stall.

Meanwhile, roommie feels on about the same humanitarian level as Nazis and Klan members. For about 5 minutes, you know that every woman who enters that bathroom sniffs the air, turns to her friend (because women use the bathroom buddy system), and--temporarily forgetting that she, too, poops--says, "Can you believe that someone would do that? I mean REALLY."

So be careful in such situations. Unless you use a wheelchair, walker, or cane, try desperately to avoid contaminating the holiness of the handicapped stall.

We're down to single digits on the days between here and freedom. We can make it.

Sunday, April 25, 2010


Does anyone else find it ridiculous that I just looked up--on the Internet--how to decrease eye exhaustion and headaches due to looking at a screen for too long?

Just checking.

By the way, a few answers include:
- increase the light levels around the screen itself (turn on a lamp to the side of the screen)
- decrease the brightness and/or contrast on your computer
- kiss your computer screen very tenderly and ask it to be gentle with you
- oh, and rest your eyes every few minutes by......

(wait for it).......



Saturday, April 24, 2010

I often experience when walking, whether for exercise or to class, an uncomfortable moment when I realize that someone is coming toward me, also walking, and we are going to cross each other. I have to decide in that moment if and how I am going to acknowledge that person.

Think about it.

Do you A) smile, B) wave, C) ignore, D) both A and B, E) give the acknowledgement nod, F) give a “hello” or G) dig for your phone or something similar to be preoccupied with to make C feel less rude?

Those are obviously not all the choices available, but I’ve found those to be my most common “go to” actions in such a situation. There are an infinite number of factors that go into that decision, but the decision must be made, and often very quickly. Sometimes I walk away thinking that I picked the perfect option, but other times I feel like the smile and wave was a bit much, or I remember why the person looked familiar and I feel bad for getting so preoccupied with my iPod.

When I got a bike last summer, I realized that passing another cyclist is far less complicated, possibly due to the faster pace of the activity and, thus, the shorter amount of time that it takes to pass the other person. Also, sunglasses make a big difference. It is much easier to continue people watching while also ignoring the passerby when wearing sunglasses.

Yet another scenario: let’s say I am sitting on a particular bench along the Trinity Trails. The section along University Drive across from the Botanic Gardens, more specifically. Let’s imagine that as I have a view like this:

As I am sitting on this bench on a warm afternoon, bikers, walkers, joggers, and dog-walkers all pass me by. Who acknowledges me, and who does not? Who feels the need to shift focus to the side to nod, smile, wave, or speak? Also, how do these people interact with one another when they pass? These are the phenomena that I study.

I don't have children and I don't sell jewelry.

It's getting to that point where I feel ridiculous addressing this blog to "you." There is no "you." I've also realized that blogspot seems to be full of "look we have children!" blogs and "look I make creative things like very simple jewelry!" blogs. Have you ever clicked the "next blog" button? I have. Many many times. It's so discouraging. There are a couple of good ones, but there are far more "I HAVE CHILDREN! I NEED AN OUTLET!" blogs than anything else.

(Side note, though, if you know those children, it is MORE THAN worth it to read them. I am guilty of cooing over my cousin's kiddo's pictures. The difference between Britanny's blog and most of the others? She writes well. I enjoy it immensely.)

List of things that this blog is NOT for:
1. showing off my children
2. displaying jewelry that I have made myself
3. angsty preteen ventilation (been there. done that.)
4. posting pictures of my 73 cats
5. cheesy flash sparkley images of cupcakes and ladybugs (it's disheartening to realize how many of those are out there)
6. Pioneer Woman style cooking step-by-steps (that woman must have 3 arms to take pictures with a nice camera WHILE USING A MIXER and still produce tasty food)
7. slamming Jesus down your throat (I loves the Jesus. I do not loves the blogs that are so saturated with scripture that it's tedious to read)
8. one post a year. Maybe two. (I hate flipping to a cool blog and seeing that there's a year's gap between some of the posts. or maybe the most recent post was submitted in 1999. Really? I was 10 that year.)

Mkay. Now that that's out there, I need to go find the other childless, not-into-crafts, mildly clever blogs that are stranded on an island in the ether.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Music on my mind

Ingrid Michaelson - Men of Snow

Regina Spektor - Dance Anthem of the 80s

Rilo Kiley - Breakin Up

Rehearsal time :) Enjoy those in the meantime.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Things that make me happy:

1. my sister
2. massages (not messages. well, those too, but specifically massages)
3. thinking of next next next Thursday (May 6th)
4. Grace Kelly (watching The Country Girl)
5. butternut squash cake
6. seeing a car turn it's lights on while driving down the road (I feel like we share a little secret just for that brief moment)
7. hearing a random passerby say "bless you" when I sneeze
8. going to the grocery for a specific food and finding it on sale

Monday, April 19, 2010

A Letter From God

This was sent in an email to me today. I misted up a bit. It came just when it was needed. Praise God for His people who encourage us weaklings in the rough times.

This is the day that I have made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that I am pouring into this brief portion of your life. Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them. This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.

To find Joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty four-hour segments. I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past. There is abundant life in My Presence today.

Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

HTML fail

So, fun fact. The appearance of my blog depends entirely on what browser you're using. Working in Internet Explorer? You see it as I made it. Using Mozilla Firefox or Google Chrome (I don't know about safari)? You see my lovely header image cruising way on down the page. Why?? Why is that?? I don't understand.

Yes... I fiddled with the html code.

Did I know what I was doing? Not really. But I'm a fan of trial and error, and in the Internet Explorer browser, it worked great. I sign on in the library and WHAT LITTLE ELF MOVED MY PAGE HALFWAY DOWN THE SCREEN??

So I may have to fiddle again. Dang it. I was so proud of myself for being a successful computer nerd. Still learning.

Also, no posts for the next 2 days. See previous post for the reason why. That note is far more for me than for you. Since I don't think any "you's" exist yet.

God bless you, though :)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Planner madness

Going a tad crazy.

Planner is threatening to eat me alive.

Overwhelmed with all the things to do!

This post is for me. Not you. Needing some organization.

- church :)
- Midsummer makeup
- Mortar Board stupidity
- (strike?)
- dinner with Soul Care folks
- study for big unfriendly nutrition exam
- write big cruel social policy memo that's due Tuesday

- take big unfriendly nutrition exam
- no seriously. write the policy memo. and do the powerpoint
- rehearsal
- oh yeah. Japan class (time sucker...)

Rest of the week:
- rehearsal
- classes (time suckers...)
- evangelicalism presentation (AAHHHH!)
- more rehearsal

Next week:
- performance
- research paper due (AAAAHHH!)
- Japan paper due (uuugghhh...)
- "final discussion" for evangelicalism
- frou frou sociology dinner
- weekend: *inhale...*

Finals week:
- nutritionfinalethnographyfinalagingfinal
- Wednesday: *inhale...*
- turninevangelicalismfinalpaper
- hibernate/snuggle for a full 24 hours.


Mkay. I have made a decision. I'm using the journal/notebook/dark wood template. With my favorite kind of pen in the whole world in the header image. Sure, the notebook lines are going to take a minute to upload, but because of that pen, THIS TEMPLATE IS MADE FOR ME!

On a not-completely-unrelated note, my brain has told me, ever so kindly, that it is taking a day off today. I was not prepared, and I can't sacrifice a whole day when I've got an exam Monday and a research paper due Tuesday. Oh dearohdearohdear. Maybe after the play I can go the apartment, do a little yoga, clear the mind (reset it, if you will) and make it forget that it wanted to take a day off! And THEN get to work--in a ferocious way.

On the subject of widgets, what are the little dudes, and which ones do you suggest?

On the subject of people-watching, there is a precious Christian married couple sitting across from me at Panera. They're reading devotions together, journaling, and discussing. I would guess that his age is early 30's and hers is about 29 or 30. I would like something like that very much someday.

Last note, I'm in the process of reading 1 Corinthians. It is rock awesome. I'm a big fan.

In Construction

I've been trying out different templates for my blog. Found a delightful journal-y one (complete with my favorite kind of pen!!), but it takes so darn long to bring up all the elements of the page! Decided that one was a bad idea. This one (called "blue peeling paint") matches my room, which I like (I like matching things. Don't make fun of me), but it doesn't have the navigation bar at the top! I can't post without typing in and then clicking the post option. I like being able to post from my page, thankyouverymuch. So I'm still scavenging. Not sure what I want, exactly, but it's a fantastic way to procrastinate, this shopping for blog templates thing. :D

Friday, April 16, 2010


There is a house party going on in the apartment next to mine.

"But Cole," you say, "if you live in an apartment complex, how can it be a HOUSE party?"

Excellent question! There is a bit of a checklist that goes with the term "house party." Let's review:

1. Deafening bass beats that could be mistaken for music if there is enough...
2. Alcohol. Large quantities of alcohol and intoxicated individuals.
3. More than the maximum number of people allowed by the fire marshall in a particular sized space.
4. Lots of mistakes being made in the same place, often due to the influence of item #2.
5. (optional) Angry neighbors. defines this event as "a hobbit house party with more people, beer, and less playstation."

I had to then look up "hobbit house party." I think it's a British thing.

Anywho, back to the list. Let's see...

Are there mind-numbing bass beats pulsing through the poorly insulated wall? I believe that's a yes. (wom wom wom wom.... womwom... wom wom wom wom... womwom)

Is there alcohol involved? I am going to vote yes based on the slurred speech and female-drunk-mating-calls coming from the outside hall area.

Are there too many people in that apartment? Since they are spilling out into the aforementioned hall area, I'm going to assume a yes, although they may just be escaping the pulsing alien ship inside the apartment that's making those gosh-awful noises.

Are there mistakes being made? There is a small, well-to-do Asian family with a small child living right across the hall from this hubbub. Do you know what angry daddies and mommies of small children are like when they are forced to encounter intoxicated students? The party itself is a mistake. Moving on.

Angry neighbors... Well, I'm getting there. If the cute Asian family doesn't get them by 12:45, I may have to say something. Just a kind, "could you turn down your oh-so-impressive bass? kthanxbye"

I hear one, two, five, seventeen... more people coming upstairs to join the party. The birthday party, come to find out. Assuming that the high pitched "HAPPPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAY!!!" was an event appropriate statement.

Now, let's make this perfectly clear: I enjoy fun with friends just as much as the next overworked, high strung, oatmeal-squares-with-mango-slices-eating gal. But I enjoy sleep an awful lot too. And I have to write a paper. Which will prove difficult if I have to listen to *wom wom wom wom. wom wom. womwomwomwomwomwom. wom wom wom wom* all night long.

Meanwhile, do you have a stamp I can borrow? I've run out...


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Too much in my head

There's too much bouncing around between my left ear and my right ear. I'd like a place to put it all down in a coherent form! I have my journal, which is fantastic for me, and I have facebook, which I've decided is eating my life in a mildly destructive manner, but I want to share these things with others in a format that those don't allow. And xanga is SO 2005.

Ok. So I need to tell you, my single lonely reader, what the purpose of this blog is. This is where I will speak, unabashedly, about things of this strange, beautiful, broken world. Ideas will take root and sprout here (hopefully both mine and yours). Things in my life will be deconstructed and simplified, adding a teaspoon of humor and just a dash of exaggeration, when appropriate, of course.

You see, I want to learn to enjoy writing. I shouldn't tell you this, but I'm actually procrastinating a bit with the very creation of this blog. I should be writing any one of three research papers that are due between next Tuesday and 5:00 on the first Thursday in May. Which is, by the way, 20 days, 18 hours, and 30 minutes away. Approximately.

Mkay. So things for YOU to look forward to in posts from ME:
- discussion on cool provacative old photos
- fascinating deconstruction of evangelical dating do's and don't's (a research paper topic)
- my idea for the perfect retirement home (yes, I'm 20. Can't start thinkin' about that too soon)
- excitement and photos from the inner workings of the upcoming Trinity Shakespeare Festival
- I'm an avid people watcher. You'd better believe that some of those fun observations will be shared.