Yep! A New Years Eve Post!

What a year, eh?  Round of applause for 2010, everybody!  Yeeeeaaah!

*cricket cricket*

Ok, so it was kinda hard.  I had a feeling this time last year that it would be--not really sure why.  I think God was preparing me.  School nearly killed me, but it was good.  Relationships were difficult, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.  I kinda felt like I plowed through the year, head down, working really stinkin' hard to power through it.  But ya know what, folks?  :)  We did it.  Here we are!  We made it through the end of the year!!!  Take off your coat and stay awhile!  (cue music)  We're gonna party like it's 1999! 

PS, I was 9 and a half in 1999.  If I partied like it was 1999, that party would be all kinds of awkward.

I didn't make a new years resolution for 2010, per say, but I did make a list of things I could accomplish (I did this to get me excited about the year--mildly successful!).  Considering how freaking ambitious that list was, I did pretty darn well!  We won't get into all of that, but it includes things like "learn a new knitting trick" and "fill at least half of my journal" (both of which I did!).

TCU is in the Rose Bowl tomorrow, and there's more purple flowing than I think is really possible.  So the new years shindig that I'm going to is Rose Bowl themed, and I'll be taking "badger-in-a-blanket"s.  Because pig-in-a-blanket's are classic football food, and because the Horned Frogs are going to eat the badgers (their mascot doesn't even get capitalization--ZING!).

Currently I'm listening to Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella from 1965 (um... the best version ever) and nursing what promises to be an awesome head cold.  I have a long list of to-do's (such as write graduation AND Christmas thank you notes), which, of course, I'm putting off until tomorrow.  And yet I'm overwhelmed with joy.  I am so flippin excited for 2011.  God has grown me and changed me so much during 2010 that I'm just plum giddy about what He has in store for me in the next year.  And I'm saying that knowing that after January 24th, I have no clue whatsoever what it's going to hold for me.  I just have a gut feeling that it's going to be really and truly fantastic. 

India update!

Everyone, funds are all in, passport and visa are ready, going to get shots and precautionary medication this week, and I'm getting my prayer on.

I'm India-bound on January 13th, and I'll be back on the 24th!  I'll hopefully be able to update while in India.  I can't tell you how overwhelmed I feel with all of the blessings that have poured in from all directions.  Family, friends, my church, acquaintances, and even a blessed "anonymous" donor--you've all come together in prayer to help me get to this point, and I cannot thank you enough.  I couldn't have done it without you.  The year and a half leading up to this trip has moved me and changed me in ways that I couldn't have foreseen--yes, the PREP work has been that influential!  Just imagine what the trip itself will be like!

For those concerned about my safety and wellness while in India, thank you.  Please pray about that!  I know that it is definitely something to be mindful of, and I've really appreciated the kind concern.  Know that I'm taking every precaution to make sure that we all have as safe a trip as possible.  Also, please be comforted by the fact that I'll be traveling with an experienced team of doctors--I know I am!!

Also, I've been asking for a lot of personal prayer requests throughout this process, so rather than asking you to pray even more for me, I ask that you pray for the team as a whole--that we would work efficiently and with a unified Christ-focused mind together through the rest of the preparations and through the trip itself!

I am SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!  We leave in just two weeks!!!  That's just now starting to sink in!

Crimuh-bush Eve and Love

My whole life, I've heard the Christmas tree be adoringly referred to as a "Crimuh bush" thanks, I'm sure, to my mom's hilarious gaggle of gal pals.  They have their own language.  I've been excited about becoming an adult ever since I was a little girl because these ladies look like they have SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER.  I love it.

But anywho.  Our Crimuh bush is up, the nativity scene is out, The Night Before Christmas is ready to be read, as always, and I'm still in my pjs at 3pm.  It is 100% Christmas Eve.

I've seen some of the funniest posts about Christmas on facebook this year.  A "Maury Christmas" picture saying, "Joseph... You are NOT the father."  A post from a new mom giving props to Mary for not only doing her labor and delivery thing in a barn, but also for riding a donkey for an extended period of time just prior to giving birth.  Super trooper.

Also, I know I'm growing up, because I saw THREE wedding albums pop up in my news feed, all of which used red and white as the general color pallet for their weddings (and all incredibly beautiful and tastefully done).

I've often wondered if I even have it in me to dislike weddings/love/romance.  If ever there was a time for me to be down on it, it's when I'm sitting at home in my pjs 3 days after a serious relationship ends while looking through distant friends' wedding albums on facebook.  And the answer is no--I do not have it in me to in any way resent weddings/love/romance etc.  If anything--and this sounds so strange and illogical--I'm more hopeful and optimistic about all those lovey-dovey things than I ever have been.  Don't get me wrong--I ain't on the lookout.  I'm really not thinking about me at all here.  I love seeing other people in love.  I love hearing love stories.  I love love!  And in all shapes and forms!  One of the most heart-warming moments I've experienced in a long time was seeing my cousin just look at his 18-month-old son.  I wish I could bottle that love and give it as a Christmas present.

Maybe it's the season, maybe it's a fantastic collection of all of the things mentioned above, but I am so thankful to be right where I am in life--surrounded by the undeniable presence of Jesus Christ, family, friends, Christmas cheer, a little hustle and bustle, and most of all: pure, ain't-no-jewelry-commercial, my-heart-to-yours LOVE.

On Endings And Beginnings

I have graduated. The beginning of a new school-less era of my life. Exciting and terrifying.

NO--I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT'S NEXT.

Actually, even less so now.

Also, if God takes care of me through both huge and tiny dilemmas, I have no doubt that he can mend a heart. He has me moving forward on a path for Him. He's the driver and the navigator. I'm blessed to be along for the ride, even if I'm not sure a- where we are going (oh I thought we were exiting here...) b- why we are going the way that He is taking us (wouldn't it be better to... Nevermind) or c- what the plan will be when we get there (so what exactly do I need to bring with me...).

Basically, I'm kidnapped in the car with God, except I'm there voluntarily and I belong to Him in the first place. So its not kidnapping at all, really.

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Today was cool, I guess

I just graduated from college--that's all.

And I spent some fun time with some of my closest friends in Fort Worth, plus my family, but I mean, whatever.

Oh and I'm about to get 8 hours of sleep, no big deal.

Right?

Wrong. My mind is blown. Today was an incredible blessing that I could not have foreseen. Praise God, and epic thanks to him for giving me such huge gifts of love.

So now I'm no longer a student. I'm officially unemployed :D

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This is what paper writing looks like for an almost-graduate.

So, I told myself that I would finish the paper that's due tomorrow at noon BY today at 5pm.

Why the heck would you do that? - you may be asking.

Well, meany face, I'd like some sleep tonight since, oh, tomorrow at noon I'll be taking a different final exam.

And because the paper is also accompanied by a video editing project.

Why the heck haven't you finished it already? - you may be asking.

Well, meany face, I've had 4 other finals, I've moved, I'm graduating, I'm exhausted, and quite frankly, I've misplaced my work ethic.  It must still be packed away with everything else...

So here I am, at 5:24pm, staring at the killer outline of the paper that I will be writing until very late tonight.

And I'll be studying in a few hours for that big mean final.

And I'll be editing that video project very very late tonight.

But ya know what???

At 2 tomorrow, I'll be done with undergraduate college assignments.... foreeeeeeveeeeerrrrrr...

knock on wood.

Mkay but you need a dose of happy positive things in your life, not this whiney desperate crawl to the finish line kind of stuff.  So here's a list of lovely things in the world right now!!

1. I got a new devotional in the mail today and I'm SUPER PUMPED ABOUT ESTABLISHING A QUIET TIME! :D
2. Christmas is, no joke, 11 days away.  Try not to wet your pants.  Or panic because you haven't even started gift shopping yet.
3. Wednesday is nesting day, when I clean the house and build things and paint things and put things in drawers rather than liquor boxes.  It's also the day my friend Rachel and I are going to make Christmas cookies and watch White Christmas.  So this is going to be an especially awesome day for my roommates.
4. I type faster writing blog posts than I do papers.  But this isn't really a lovely thing for me at the moment.  But it will be once I don't have papers to write.  PS, I'm totally procrastinating right now.  Remember how I told you I lost my work ethic?  This is proof.
5. Aaaaaand I love you.  Love IS a lovely thing.  And you have some, wrapped up real pretty from me to you.  Let's call it an early Christmas present, yes?

God bless us, every one.

Cole

Digital Religion 8-10 page paper

Mmmmmmok.

So.

About this paper.

It has to happen.  Like, in a pronto-kinda-fashion.

But my brain just DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. GO. THERE.

It's the last undergrad paper I ever have to write, and I seem to've hit the wall.

Good news - I have a basic idea of what it's going to be about.

Bad news - knowing that I have the basic structure has given me a false sense of accomplishment.

So...

I'm about thisclose to the PANIC! bit.

But not close enough to "begin working furiously fueled only by shame and fear."

And if getting 85% of the paper done is making an 85 on the paper, then that's PLENTY close enough, because I just have to make a 78 on the paper to snag me a good old fashioned, final-semester-of-college-style B in the class.

And when you take a class called "Digital Religion"--"B" stands for Beautiful.

Godsend

So, I have this dear, lovely, hilarious, wise coworker friend sister.  She rocks my socks off on a daily basis.

But yesterday, she overdid herself.

She got me a Christmas present.

"Ok..." you may be thinking, but nay.  Ya know how you think about getting someone a Christmas present, and you want it to be perfect--that thing that they want that's not too flashy, but maybe they are unable to get it on their own, but it'll be a true sign of your friendship that you remembered that they wanted it?

Mkay she got me THAT Christmas present.

She found THE tea that I've been longing for--for a year.  Haven't seen it or tasted its glory in a very long time, and SHE FOUND SIX BOXES OF IT!

I thought I was going to cry.

Or maybe that was the impending doom due to being unprepared for a final exam or 2...

Either way, I am incredibly happy right now, sitting at my computer, studying social theory... AND DRINKING HONEY VANILLA WHITE TEA CHAI.

Finals don't look nearly as scary with a cup of tea and a cat at hand.

6:30 am

I fell asleep while reading Durkheim theory excerpts. Contacts in, makeup on, clothes on, teeth needing some love... A candle was also burning. I quickly blew it out when I woke up, but gosh the house smells wonderful now...

This is a stream of consciousness post. Because that's what happens when Cole posts before 9am. Oh hello, cat in my lap. He lounges and purrs so loudly that his whole body vibrates. I have that annoying Train song stuck in my head, replaying the strange part about him wanting to kiss her on her left side brain. That gives me an uncomfortable mental image. And it just keep playing and playing. Just that part. Why do our brains do that? If I'm tired, songs get stuck in my head so much more easily. It's like having my mental tv stuck on the wedding channel--I can't escape it and often I don't like whatever it is that I am hearing.

I want to watch 500 Days of Summer again. I saw a preview for it and I'd forgotten how much I liked that movie. I have red fingernails, and I rarely paint my nails, so the bright color while I type this on my phone is kinda distracting. But it's my favorite color so it is a pleasant distraction. It's a deep, shining red that looks like it was the inspiration for candycane stripes. I can't wait to finish my finals so I can organize my room and think about Christmas! I'm definitely feeling the Christmas spirit this year.

I'm excited for 2011. More excited than I was for 2010. Not sure why. My journal entries about new years last year (this year?) were so draggy, like I could not for the life of me get excited about this year. It's like I knew ahead of time that it would be a rough year.

Ok, more Durkheimian study time. Exam tomorrow, exam Tuesday, 10 page research paper due Tuesday, video project due Tuesday. I can make it through Tuesday. I know I can.

Could you please pray for my mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being for the next week... Thank you :)

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My Brain Has Cabin Fever

My brain isn't in school anymore. It's pondering bigger questions and wanting some healthy exercise really badly. Healthy exercise like discussion without a grade attached, where I don't have to take notes or figure out how to fit that into a 7 to 8 page paper. My brain wants to be flirted with a little! You know, fun, intriguing conversation... A stroll around the cerebral park. But for 6 more days, its tests and papers... Tests and papers... Cabin fever inside my own head.

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Traditional Finals Week Post

Well folks, it's that time of year again.

I'm already behind on my proposed "finals week work schedule."

I'm so optimistic and driven when I make those schedules.  Really I should have used that time to read/study/write my tush off.

But I made killer pancakes tonight with Preston and Chelsea, so that makes up for it, right?... I mean, productive is productive, right?...

Is making pancakes considered productive?

Well... So tomorrow I've got work , class, a dance performance final, and then HOURS AND HOURS of potential productive time.  Really, I have no excuses for not being productive tomorrow.  Everything is working in my favor.

Everything was working in my favor today as well, though... Eeee... Sometimes senioritis is bigger than we are prepared for it to be.  Especially during your last semester, turns out.  I'm just glad there are so few December grads because I would be feeding off of the graduation frenzy and then I'd be even LESS productive.

Did I mention that I have a 10 page research paper due in a week?  Plus 2 final exams between now and then?  None of which I've for reals started on?  Cool.  Just so, ya know, everybody's clear on that bit of info.

But on the bright side, this time next week I will be DONE-DUNDUN-DUN-DUN--DONE DONE!  And such lovely things are happening after that :) So 6 more days of this mess, and I'm there.  Doesn't sound so hard!

Right?

Alive and Kicking!

It's probably unkind to leave readers hanging after a post titled "boom." I'm alive and well. Eight days of finals, and then I'm done.

Finished.

Completed.

No more undergraduate college- EVER.

CRAZY.

It's so strange because this is the point I've been working toward for 21 years, and people say so flippantly, "oh yeah? What's next for you?" like this is something rather insignificant. I mean, yes, I have a full exciting life ahead of me, but do I have to have that planned out right now? Can I savor this moment for a little while?

What did YOU do right out of undergrad? Did you have a game plan? Better yet, how did God take that plan and make it His own?

Here's my challenge for myself and for you for the next 2 weeks, whether you're trudging through finals or not: every waking hour of the day, take note of a blessing- big or small. It sounds like a big assignment, but think about it. This hour, I'm blessed with a writing outlet from my warm bed on a Monday morning. Amen??

Write them all down if you can, and post one or two as your Facebook statuses or tweets every day. Spread your joy, thankfulness, and wide-eyed wonder with those you know and care about.

It's so much sweeter than sharing negativity and germs.

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