Some Things Crowding My Mind

My life looks quite pulled together.

Looks can be deceiving.

Do I have a roof over my head and a job that will pay the rent on that roof?  Yes, praise the good Lord.  Do I have a sweet sweet boyfriend and a warm fuzzy cat?  Yes, again, praise the good Lord.

However, that same good Lord is sparking a desire in my heart, and that desire could take me to a frightening place.

I call that place "organic chemistry."

I recently realized that I have a passion for nutrition and always have.  It's always seemed so natural to me, so I didn't think about it as, oh, a calling (you may have read entire blog posts on my fascination with nutrition, meanwhile I had no idea that other people didn't nerd out about such things).  Which means I majored in Sociology, which, while awesome, will not afford me much of a job outside of research and/or teaching, which I'm not feeling. 

SO, grad school, I'm looking to you to remedy my academic deficiencies in this area so that I can go out into the world and teach people how to put the right things inside their super cool hydroelectric machines - aka, bodies.

Well, I started daydreaming.  I started researching grad schools.  Found The One.  Found The Masters Program Designed For Cole.  And found that I lack 5 classes in prep for that course.  A full year of general chemistry and 2 organic chemistry classes.  That frightens me to no end.  There's a REASON I went into the humanities department.  It's because math and science were a little... harsh for me.  Chemistry isn't my strong suit.

But imagine, if you will, me as a Master of Advanced Study in Maternal and Child Nutrition.  Be still, my beating heart.  But if that much chemistry is required to get in, first, can I do it??  Can I make it through those prerequisites?  And second, does that mean that the program is super duper chemistry heavy?  Is that really what God's calling me to?...

Anxiety.  And that's just really silly, because if God has planted this desire in my heart, it's for a reason.  Maybe because I need to start on this path to find the one that's really for me, or maybe because this IS that path and I have to go through the valley of the shadow of evil (organic chemistry) to refine my faith in Him and see how He completely carries me through this--to see His Goodness and Sufficiency.  To see His Faithfulness and Omniscience.  Do I really believe in these characteristics of God?  Because if I do, my only response is to trust Him and step forward in faith.

Without panicking and losing my mind.

So, sweet reader, pray for me as I embark on this frightening journey into the complete unknown.  I feel completely ill-equipped for this, but he has pro-vided (He has seen before me, He knows what I need and He will give it right when I need it).  Maybe he has provided by encouraging you to procrastinate whatever you're doing enough to pop over to this blog, and maybe YOU are a nutritionist and you can give me some tips and tricks!  If so, leave a comment.  Even if you're not a nutritionist, encouraging comments are welcomed and needed.

Love :)

Whoa... Moment of Shock at Time

I've had this blog going for over a year.

This is probably something I should be more aware of, since I started it in April of '10 and it's now July of '11, but no...  I had no idea that it had been going on that long!!

I blogged without telling anyone for a month when I got this thing started.  I wanted to be comfortable with it, and I didn't want "readers" to have to go through the baby steps and growth pains with me.  You know, the dorky, "well... I've started a blog... don't really know what to say yet..." bit there at the beginning.

Also, I had to figure out who my audience was.  I didn't quite learn that one in time, as there was a near mishap with a professor finding out about my blog from my big mouth, and I had to run--in heels and a dress--to the nearest computer to delete the posts that I'd written in his class before he could figure out how to spell "idiosyncrasies."  Thankfully, there was a post about poop to get through before hitting the post in question, and what male doesn't pause to read a post about poop?

Let it be known that I was in the middle of finals week when I wrote that post about bodily waste, and I'm going to blame that somewhat poor choice on the known desperate need for stupid body humor to relieve some of the stresses of spring semester finals.  Also, I was still a blogging noob at the time.  I have no excuses for this post, though.  Except that Dooce and Hyperbole and a Half were heavily influencing me at the time--thus the animation.

I'm still just ridiculously floored that it has been OVER a year since I started this blog.

Thank you for reading :)  If you didn't, I would have no reason to have continued!  I've got a journal for that kind of reader-less writing!  This is for you!

Speaking of...  Questions, comments, or suggestions for the future of Brilliant Idiosyncrasies?

People Read This Thing??

It kinda blows my mind that people actually read my blog.

It makes me feel like I need to think about why I blog.  And who I blog to.  And what I should be blogging about.  And what my purpose is in life. 

Yall are gonna send me into an existential crisis.

But seriously.  What IS the purpose of this blog?  Originally it was a mix of curiosity, narcissism, procrastination, and a need for one more writing outlet (as though journaling, paper writing for school, and texting well-punctuated messages wasn't enough).  But now it's kinda morphed into something that needs a kind of goal.

Goals are weird.  We're the only things on the planet that have real long-term goals.  Panthers, piranhas, and porpoises don't have long-term goals.  They have short-term ones.  Food, shelter, rest.  Survival in general.  But just for today.  Turtles don't have to worry about the middle one.

Lucky jerks.  NO MONTHLY RENT BILL FOR THEM!  Nooooo....  Evolution built that one right on in for em.

Imagine if someday humans evolve so much that they mighty-morph with camper vans.

But I digress (see?  This is why we need goals).

The goal of this blog....

*fanfare.  trumpets.  tambourines.   flame throwers!! EPIC ANTICIPATION!!!*

...is not quite formed yet.  I know.  You just got real disappointed.  I bet you begrudgingly ripped off your party hat and threw it on the floor in a quiet rage.  No need to be so cruel to your party hat.  It never did anything to hurt you.  Unless the strap was too tight under your chin, which is always such a downer.


I'll keep you posted on the goal thing as it progresses.  Give me ideas!  Maybe I should have categories of posts!  I already have weird tags on my posts, like "classtime blogging" "post due to procrastination" and "poop".  Maybe those should be more coherent?  Maybe not.


Or maaaaaaaaybeee things are just fine the way they are and you're sitting there thinking, "Cole.  Mountain.  Molehill.  Fuhgedaboudit.  Go get fro-yo with your roommie."

And I'm just gonna take that advice and run with it.  Short-term goals like that are WHERE IT'S AT!

Provocative question time!

"If you could ask God one question, what would it be?"

Depends on my situation. If I am in heaven, not to return to earth, I'd ask Him to explain His divine purpose behind major natural disasters (hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc). I know there are reasons, but I don't see them. As far as human-induced tragedies (holocaust, genocide, wars, oppression, etc), I don't see and understand their purpose, but I see the root of the problem as being caused by the evil in men and women, rather than being something caused by a divine hand. Darkness is the absence of light, and evil is the absence or rejection of God by man.

However, if I'm just asking God a question and returning about my daily business here on earth, I have a whole LIST of questions, but number one would be, essentially, "Who do I need to talk to about You?" This boils down to a basic theological question. If a boy who lives in the heart of China dies, and he has never heard about Christ, but he would have accepted Him had he had the chance to know about Him, does the boy go to heaven? If so, the sense of urgency that Christians feel to reach that child is kinda pointless, and if not, there are a lot of folks going to hell simply because of where they were born. I have a difficult time believeing that God would reject someone in heaven if they didn't know about heaven to begin with. That's not fair, and my God is a just God. Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." But little boy in China would have gone through Jesus, he just didn't have the opportunity! So is he going to go to hell because a missionary didn't get to him in time? That sure does sound really hinged on the presence of a missionary, but it's not "no one comes to the Father except through a missionary." It's Jesus. But then is "go and make disciples of all the nations" unnecessary? Because that sounds really wrong.

Different theological groups have differing opinions on the matter, and I'm not trying to start anything fierce. Just voicing a confusion. Someday God and I will get the chance to have a sit down chitchat, probably over a cup of perfect tea, and we'll discuss such things. In the meantime, what are YOUR thoughts?