The Big 2 and the 12 for '12

Hey folks!

So Happy New Year!!  A VERY happy new year, actually.  I'm really excited about 2012.  I've got a list of "would love to do's" and "gosh darn it--WILL do's" for this year, hopefully making some good habits.  God blessed me tremendously in 2011.  I got a job that's been a blessing in so many ways, I've moved into a big girl apartment with my sweet kitty Baghera, I've made or reconnected with several people who I know will be lifelong friends... Also, I've got a charming boyfriend (sweet sweet Jared) who is just as big of a delightful, joyful blessing as he was a year ago when we started dating (ok, a year ago on SaturdaySundayMonday.  We have agreed on a general 3 day dating anniversary.) and I'm excited that he's stuck it out with me this long :)  You see, I'm not exactly EASY to date.  But hopefully I'm growing in that direction!

Speaking of, how about listing those resolutions so that you can be on board with me as I grow this year!  Kinda scary to throw it all out there for you to see.  It will make me commit to them more knowing that I have this kind of accountability (even if I only have 2 readers, that's 2 people who will know just how ambitious I am about this year).  But here goes!

Big 2:

-JOY.  God has been working in my heart tirelessly to teach me what joy is, and how I can find it through Him.  He's helping me to find full juicy satisfaction in Him, rather than seeking for it in this world.  Now, this process has been years-long, but He has recently made it clear that if I choose to commit to it, and to Him, this year can be the start of a lifelong JOYFEST.  And I'm all about that.  So let it begin!

-One hour a day in quiet time with the Lord and/or in the Word.  An hour.  A whole hour.  A not-looking-at-the-clock-worrying-about-all-that-I-could-be-doing-with-this hour.  It's so important.  I've tried "quickie" quiet times or short passage Bible reading plans, but that's cheating myself out of quality time with my Father.  That's not building a relationship.  And it's also not been teaching me the discipline of resting in Him and finding peace in those quiet moments with the Lord.  So this year that changes.  Already I have felt an awesome desire to read the Bible--sadly not a desire I've frequently felt.  But committing to being with the Lord for an hour sounds so much more amazing than an hour of Biblical history reading, ya know?  But if God is at work through that history reading, and I'm actively listening to what He's teaching me?  Oh yea.  Sign me up.

I have some hopes/dreams/fears/wishes for this year, but those are quietly tucked away in my LBJ (Leather Bound Journal.  Read about him here.).  This isn't the time or place for those.  This is the time and place for the 12 for '12!! Twelve mini (or not so mini) resolutions that I'm excited about doing/starting/finishing in 2012.

1.  Complete the black frame collage above my sofa.  It's time.
2.  Let this be the Year of the Mixer (I got a RED KitchenAid Mixer for Christmas, and I am PUMPED!).  I want to bake at least 1 thing a month--for someone else.  Wanna be the recipient??  Let me know.
3.  Strive for Intermediate Level of French.  Mhm.  No classes, just Rosetta Stone and me, getting REAL.
4.  Plant and nourish a garden.  My hope is to cook with things I've grown from my balcony garden.  Which I don't have yet, but I will.
5.  Grow my nails out long enough to "deserve" a manicure.  I have an awful habit of messing with my nails.  Makes em not cute.  I wanna break that habit.
6.  Grow (along with my nails and vegetables) a quiet, peaceful, joyful spirit.
7.  I'll tell you about this one in a month.  Just wait for it.
8.  Take more pictures, learn techniques, seek out some good snaps
9.  Deliberately open up myself for opportunities to share Christ.  Gotta listen to the Spirit here.  It will let me know when and with whom.  I'm not a street corner kinda gal, if ya know what I mean, but I've also missed opportunities when I'm sure God could have blessed us both with that conversation.
10.  Save $, but not to excess.  (not that I make enough to be considered "excess"--I just want to develop good habits of not saving it ALL, as could easily be my fearful planner-style mode of operations, but learning when to spend or give, such as...)
11.  Give $, to help missions.
12.  Invest more in PEOPLE and relationships.  That means overcoming this weird little fear uncomfortable social situations. 

I have an overactive empathy meter, which can be crippling when I'm talking with someone who I can tell is uncomfortable, because I take on their discomfort rather than trying to figure out how to remedy the situation to make it great for the other person, thus great for both of us.  Jared has helped tremendously with this because A) he's a social butterfly.  Easily 60% of our relationship has been out and about, loving on folks, double dates, group activities.  He's pulled me out of the safety of alone-ness.  B) he's a fabulous example to follow in terms of making great conversation.  He could befriend a coaster in 5 minutes, and after 30 minutes, the coaster wants Jared to be the best man at his wedding.  Just watching him connect with people has taught me a lot about how to talk to all kinds of people--not just the ones we find easiest to talk to, but ALL kinds of people.  I've also seen how he takes those folks that he does find easy to talk to, and he really invests in them as a dear friend.

I will never be as social butterfly-y as Jared, but that's really ok.  I just want to get better.  I want my crossing paths with another person to be a blessing to them.  That's really the point of most of the 12 for '12--to help me grow into a well-rounded person who is a blessing for others to come in contact with.

Except the nails thing.  That's for me.

Domestic Things

Hi friends :)

Just daydreaming about new one-bedroom house to come--list-style!  Let's get domesticated...

1.  I'll be living alone with my cat.  That does not mean I am a cat lady, understood?  And that cat's litter box will no longer be in my bedroom.  It will be in the bathroom where poo belongs.  HOORAY!!!
2.  I'm already pretty furnished!  I don't think I'll need any large furniture pieces (until Jared finally convinces me that I need a couch...  Which will be several paychecks in the future).  In the meanwhile I'll have 2 (3?) fairly comfortable chairs and floor pillows for the living room.
3.  Which means I get to spend the most time and effort on decorating with what I already have--MY FAVORITE!!  And I get to decorate an entire house, all by myself :D
4.  With Martha Stewart.  I've already browsed through a few of her articles on super cute and super inexpensive DIY projects and moving tips.
5.  This is going to be the smoothest move you've ever heard of.  I'm talking, numbered boxes with a master list of items inside said boxes.  I'm talking, gaff tape marking off where the movers shall place big furniture pieces.  I'm talking, color coded boxes by room and importance.
6.  Jared becomes afraid of me when I start talking about moving.
7.  I'm excited to cook in my new home.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the most important meal of the day--dessert.
8.  I'm excited to invite people over to my new home.  Small group gatherings (how awesome will THAT be!?)... girls nights... jam sessions... Star Wars nights with popcorn, beer, and a crew of nerdy men...
9.  I'm excited to flex my green thumb again--hopefully with more success (see: 5 pots of dirt in my house currently) since I have my own little balcony.  Herbs, blooms, and veggies, oh my!
10.  I'm delighted that I'll get to ride my bike to work!  Yoshi's gotten so little use since I graduated.  She needs a good cleaning, some air in her tires, and the weather to cool down so her pansy-of-an-owner will be willing to go for bike rides again.

While I'll be super sad to leave the sweet girls of ACES (the original 4's initials--soon to be changed to JEWS. Hehe), living alone is something that I've toyed with trying for a few years, and the time and place couldn't have been better!  I feel like a more well-rounded person for the living experiences that I've had (good and bad, and there have been plenty of both).

Brief re-cap there:
1. At home I had my own room and sink.  Everything else was shared with 1 or 3.
2. Dorm life, year 1.  Nothing was just for me.  Shared everything.  Including sanity.
3. Dorm life, year 2.  I had my own bedroom!  Shared bathroom and living space with 1.
4. Apartment, part 1.  I had my own bedroom AND bathroom, shared living and kitchen with 1 (2).
5. Apartment, part 2.  Shared bathroom, living, and kitchen with 1.  And then with Freds.  Which I didn't blog about.  Because it was gross and caused us to immediately move into...
6. Apartment, part 3.  My own bedroom, shared bathroom with 2, kitchen and living with 3.  Which is surprisingly not crowded most of the time.

So now I'm moving into Apartment, part 4.  My own everything.  Weird.  Granted, I won't be splitting rent with anyone (womp womp...) but that's ok.  I have a big girl job.  Plus, I'll be paying less in gas since I'll be BICYCLING TO WORK EVERY DAY! :D 

I'm seriously really pumped about that.

To Do

Oh heavens.  My list of things to do is going to eat me.

To do tomorrow:

-Babysit (woo!)
-Write about 25 thank you notes to preschool teachers (no woo.)
-Address those notes
-Write a script for a preschool teacher training video
-Find people to play in said video

To do within a week:

-Plan and successfully execute said training video
-Crank out 8 lesson plans for Indian kiddos
-Find oodles of people who want to be preschool teachers this fall
-Find even more people who wanna be preschool teachers this fall
-Officially slap my name on a cute 1-bedroom apartment (woo!)

To do before India:

-Round up substitute teachers out the wa-zoo for while I'm gone
-Edit training video
-Train the oodles of preschool teachers
-Make sure the oodles of preschool teachers are screened, etc
-Begin to pack to move
-Definitely pack for India

Thanks for walking me through that.

I know, I know... Keep calm and carry on.

How To Spend One's Fourth

1. Find out, albeit kindly, that you need to find somewhere else to live starting August 1.

2.  Mope, whine, throw a general one-man-pity-party.

3.  Get over that mess and go watch about 4 episodes of bad acting (ex: Army Wives).

4.  Get over that, too, and finally take a shower and start a load of laundry.

5.  Laundry X 3

6.  Go to your bf's house and water the plants and feed the cats, love on the cats, and generally suck up to the cats since bf and his sweet mama are out of the country.

7.  Take advantage of being at this bf's house and read a good book in a hammock for an hour and a half.

8.  Again, take advantage of being at said bf's house and continue reading in the "cold tub" (hot tub minus heat).

9.  Try to avoid being completely devoured by mosquitoes (I'm not good at this one).

10.  Come home and enjoy a glass of red wine with strawberries and yogurt while watching Modern Times with Charlie Chaplin.  Proceed directly to sleep, or pause for a moment to blog about the day while listening to Regina Spektor.

Something heavy, something light

Self deception is a tricky, prickly thing.  I bumped into an old acquaintance recently, and I was reminded of the dangers of that kind of thinking--whether intentional or not.  I know of some who very deliberately deceive themselves, whether to help squish a bad habit or to come to terms with a very difficult choice.  I've been there, too.  On more than one sad occasion, each lasting far too long, I've tricked myself into believing that I was of little worth, and thus accepted being treated as such.  It's frightening to realize that our own minds have the ability to change our perception of reality in very real and sometimes lasting ways.  Thankfully God has come to rescue me from that place each time, reminding me that I am esteemed by Him as no less than a child of God.

The saddest part about bumping into this old acquaintance was that he is fighting daily to rid his mind of those deceptions--he has for a long time.  He has bravely faced fears and changed behaviors, even if living honestly meant living a more uncomfortable life.  Unfortunately, there are some issues still at stake in his life that he holds to, not knowing (or caring to know) how truly he has deceived himself, making all these other choices futile until he overcomes these grander things.  Pride, sneaky unperceived pride, creates cruel barriers between who we are and who we are made to be.  We must take up arms against it daily and fully expect pride to fight dirty, while we we fight to win honestly.

This will read like a pile of bologna unless you know this about yourself and/or a loved one.

On a totally different note, I have a summer list of things to do (for myself, but borrow from it, by all means!):

1. Find a friend with a pool and enjoy it.
2. Wear sunscreen.  A lot of it.
3. Dive into a Bible study (join me?  Even if you're long distance!  I'd love that!)
4. Read.  Ravenously.
5. Visit home, visit a body of water, visit an old friend, visit a new friend
6. Plan this second India trip!!!
7. Firmly establish myself as #1 girlfriend by kicking Jared's upcoming quarter-century birthday in the pants (metaphorically)
8. Study French
9. Paint
10. Learn to play a few things on the guitar

If you have any interest in joining me on any of these adventures, comment, call, message, visit, smoke signal, or telegraph me.

Love you.

The "Dream Home" File

I'm letting you in.  This means we're REALLY good friends.  I mean, you already know too much, but I'm now going to show you the deep recesses of...

... the "Dream Home" file on my computer.

Get excited. 

The reason I started using Google Reader was to be constantly bombarded with words and images that inspire me and make me drool on my keyboard a little.  Recipes, sociological thoughts, blogs of family/friends/strangers, and pictures.  Beautiful beautiful images.  Some of which are save-worthy.  Behold.

Books and cubbies tickle my fancy.  So do secret passageways.  And bookshelf doors...

I also dream of having a bed and breakfast with a morning and an afternoon tea time.  With a random assortment of teacups, and maybe even teapots.

Some aren't really functional, but are beautiful nonetheless.

Some are both lovely AND functional.  These are far more realistic.

Books.  And books.  And those ladders at bookstores.  But in my home.

 I love wide open, naturally lit spaces.  And wood.  And bicycles.  And maybe even bare old fashioned lightbulbs.

Just some thoughts.  I also love the idea of a big fireplace.  And a writing nook.

Admit it.  It's fun to imagine :)

Happiness

Today I'll be posting some pictures of things that say "happiness" to me.

There aren't a whole lot and they aren't of awesome quality because all of them are pics from my phone. Camera shots to come soon, as I am leaving for the beach in about 6 hours with a camera, a finally-emptied SD card, and a handsome beau.

Little spots of joy aren't hard for me to find.  Take this cute little black furball, for instance.

He's cute as a button.  His name is Baghera.  Or Baggy Britches.  He's named after the black panther in The Jungle Book.

That cute one with the mohawk? That's Jane at about 12 months.  That goobie one with the janky teeth? That's me at about 90 months.  I loved her then, I love her now.  I wanna be just like her when I grow up.

I love books.  Or at least I did once upon a time.  Ok, I still do, I'm just struggling to jump into reading again, even though I now have time for the first time in about 8 years.  All of these (found in my aunt and uncle's house in Memphis) make me itch to curl up for hours in a comfy chair with a big cup of tea.  Also, that chair is pretty cool.

I love this guy.  He's my favorite decorative item in the house.  He makes me giggle every time I look at it.  Fern head.  Huhuhuhu...

Ain't THIS precious.  That's my roommate, Alyssa, and her fiance, Zack.  They started playing around on the guitar a little before we went on a double date.  It was real sweet.  I love love.

Mkay first off, my jobs are awesome.  I play with precious children.  Huzzah!  Second off, this baby is one of the cutest ever.  Jane wins--always--but Anna here is pretty close.  I get to babysit her a couple of times a week.  She was especially happy the day I took this, and I couldn't resist sharing it.

This is on my desk at all times.  It's a card that my friend Sarah gave me when I was having a rough go of things last year.  You may remember this fiasco.  She gave me this super-cute-and-tailor-made-for-me card, chocolate, candles, more chocolate, spice cake, bubble bath, and a snuggie--all to make the "ugh"iness go away.  Epic success, friend.

Inside she wrote, "Stay warm, toasty, and well fed physically and spiritually--don't WORRY/STRESS (I know you!).  Remember what God told us in Matthew 6.  'Be like the lillies of the field' or in your case (and this cards case) sunflowers.  Do sunflowers stress over anything?  Nope.  God's got 'em covered, all they have to do is stretch their petals towards heaven and He blesses them... and you know God loves you even more than sunflowers."

So those are some of my at-hand images of happiness! There will be plenty more after this week, since I get to play at the beach with (get excited) Jane, Mama, Daddy, AND Jared!  WHAT??  Blessings never cease... :)

love you

Blogging and Journaling Observations

Now, before anybody gets their britches in a wad, this is not a definitive "how to" on journaling and blogging. Rather it is a collection of observations that I have made about my own blogging experiences and journal adventures. Yours may (and possibly SHOULD) look very different from mine. But this is a ME-centered blog. So I'm gonna talk about ME.

Me.

So! Journal experiences first. I journaled before I knew what blogging was, so it only seems fair. I have found that I must make guidelines to follow that will shape and somewhat format the entries in my journals. For instance, with my current Leather Bound Journal (LBJ) I have the following "rules" (not really rules, don't let that throw you off):

-  all entries have the date and time recorded
-  entries are directed at the journal, not at myself or another reader (unless otherwise noted)
-  I may certainly write letters to others, but those others don't get to read them
-  known exceptions: prayers (God has that omniscience thing going for Him), and letters to my someday hubs. He will get to read those once he claims his title. Can't be showing his letters to some poser!
-  I do not do not do not have to write every day. Ever. And I don't have to write just once a day. Writing frequency it totally an up-to-me kind of thing. I've scared myself off from journaling for weeks at a time because I set high standards for my journal keeping and it was too much to handle.

Ok the whole point of these guidelines is to make my journal a safe place for me. I can exhale onto paper without thinking about who I am writing to, who may see it, and how much I'm responsible for writing. It's really nice. The only problem that I run into is when there's so much to write that I don't write anything for too long, and then I don't know how to record it all without missing something. I want to do it all justice, but I can only write so much in one sitting.

That happens with blogging, too (segue!).

The India trip, for example.  SO MUCH HAPPENED that I have no idea how to tell you exactly what happened.  There's another post brewing that will be a "this is what we DID" rather than a "this is how I FELT" kind of post.  Still brewing because I'm still trying to lucidly sort all that out.  Maybe I never will, though, and I should just go ahead and blog it out. Hm.

Anywho.  Blogging guidelines!  Not rules, not regulations, not for everybody, but they've helped make this blogging experience a better one for me (and possibly for you.  Unless you don't enjoy reading these posts.  In which case, why have you read this much?  You're lying to yourself.  You love my blog.  You can't get enough of it.  Embrace the love).

-  remember the audience.  Write knowing that your grandmom, little sister, professors, best friends, that person you want to talk about, and your future boss are all reading.  I'm (almost) too afraid to blog about the embarrassing story associated with the hard lesson behind that guideline because I'm afraid that it's still applicable.  Here's a hint:
-  don't blog during class and write about how you're blogging in class.  If you choose to ignore this advice, then do not subsequently give your blog address to the professor of said class, then requiring you to run frantically to the nearest computer to delete all said class-blogging entries.
-  that being said, write as yourself.  Don't create a fake voice--write as YOU, knowing that those who know and love you may be reading, and those who don't know and love you are GETTING to know you by reading.
-  read other blogs, be inspired by them, and encourage others to blog
-  please, for the love of all things good in the world, do not whine on your blog. 
-  unless it is side-splittingly hilarious.  Then whine all day.
-  if you provide a link in your blog, explain what it is.  This doesn't make me want to click here no matter how awesome it is.  Comprende?

Brilliant.  Now go start a blog, update your own, buy a journal, or just pick it up again.

I love ya like the Pioneer Woman loves her luggage :)

This is what paper writing looks like for an almost-graduate.

So, I told myself that I would finish the paper that's due tomorrow at noon BY today at 5pm.

Why the heck would you do that? - you may be asking.

Well, meany face, I'd like some sleep tonight since, oh, tomorrow at noon I'll be taking a different final exam.

And because the paper is also accompanied by a video editing project.

Why the heck haven't you finished it already? - you may be asking.

Well, meany face, I've had 4 other finals, I've moved, I'm graduating, I'm exhausted, and quite frankly, I've misplaced my work ethic.  It must still be packed away with everything else...

So here I am, at 5:24pm, staring at the killer outline of the paper that I will be writing until very late tonight.

And I'll be studying in a few hours for that big mean final.

And I'll be editing that video project very very late tonight.

But ya know what???

At 2 tomorrow, I'll be done with undergraduate college assignments.... foreeeeeeveeeeerrrrrr...

knock on wood.

Mkay but you need a dose of happy positive things in your life, not this whiney desperate crawl to the finish line kind of stuff.  So here's a list of lovely things in the world right now!!

1. I got a new devotional in the mail today and I'm SUPER PUMPED ABOUT ESTABLISHING A QUIET TIME! :D
2. Christmas is, no joke, 11 days away.  Try not to wet your pants.  Or panic because you haven't even started gift shopping yet.
3. Wednesday is nesting day, when I clean the house and build things and paint things and put things in drawers rather than liquor boxes.  It's also the day my friend Rachel and I are going to make Christmas cookies and watch White Christmas.  So this is going to be an especially awesome day for my roommates.
4. I type faster writing blog posts than I do papers.  But this isn't really a lovely thing for me at the moment.  But it will be once I don't have papers to write.  PS, I'm totally procrastinating right now.  Remember how I told you I lost my work ethic?  This is proof.
5. Aaaaaand I love you.  Love IS a lovely thing.  And you have some, wrapped up real pretty from me to you.  Let's call it an early Christmas present, yes?

God bless us, every one.

Cole

Counting down to...

23 days to Thanksgiving
46 days to graduation
53 days to Christmas
72 days to India mission trip
83 days to the date after which I have absolutely no plans (ridiculously scary and brilliantly exciting)

So, if you have any ideas that you'd like to pitch me for something wonderful to do with my life starting in 3 months, I'm all ears :)  Maybe that idea that you have is just what I need to hear!

Between now and then, I'll be taking tests, writing papers, reading articles and text books, doing daily devotions (from a devotional gifted to us India folks--so good), dressing actors backstage, planning a mission trip abroad, snuggling with Anton's kitteh, preparing to graduate (ducks in a row? check.), not stressing out (hah.), blogging a lot, working here and there, loving on my dear friends, family, and charming bf, collecting books to read....

...and watching Heroes.  Have I mentioned that new little addiction?  Season one, episode 15.  I'm a tad obsessed.  I've heard I need to fiercely avoid season 3.  And maybe 2 as well.  I've started to hate the credit music because every episode leaves me with SEVENTEEN CLIFFHANGERS.

Looking back at what I've just written, I'm absolutely overwhelmed by the blessings I've been given.  What an incredible time of life...  Praise God for these beautiful blessings!

Late Saturday Lunch!

Hey folks!

I'm hungry.  I want pancakes.  But not just any pancakes.

I want THESE PANCAKES.  They're whole grain oatmeal pancakes.

Mhm--I see that drool seeping out of the corner of your mouth.

About to go to the store to get a few things.  Want to know how Cole grocery shops on a budget?  Read on...

• milk - probably almond milk.  It lasts longer than regular milk, and it's better for you.  Get the vanilla flavor and thank me later.
• nutmeg - for the pancakes, but super awesome to have on hand anyway.
• fruit - 2 or three different kinds.  I like to get bananas, strawberries, and some other kind of seasonal fruit.  Bananas are cheap as anything, strawberries are often on a buy 1 get 1 sale, and maybe a plum, pear, or peach.  Grapes are also in season, but they don't go as well in fruit smoothies.
• avocado - just one, and if it's more than $.60, you're overpaying. (Find a 3 for $1 sale)
• veggies - a couple of cheap ones, like a broccoli head, mushrooms, and a bell pepper (I've got my eye on THIS RECIPE for this week.  It looks like it'll be super easy to take and reheat for lunches.  Yes, I think like that.  You should too. It makes your life significantly more college-affordable.)
• lunch meat - because I wanted an omelet today and I couldn't have one because all I had was egg and cheese and that's not exciting enough for me.  Hi, I'm Cole, and I'm an omelet diva.

Love you :) off I go to the grocery store!

**************************

Just got back from the grocery a few minutes ago.  It was raining.  It was the least cute I've looked at the grocery, possibly ever.  I did some probability stats before leaving and found that the odds were very slim that I'd see anyone I knew because 1) it's raining 2) it's homecoming for TCU 3) it's Saturday afternoon.  And for once, stats didn't fail me!  There were LOTS of people there (probably some acting agents, future employers, and such) but no one that I recognized.

I got out of there having only spent $22.87.

I got all things mentioned above, plus 2 different kinds of pasta and a container of parmesan. 

Ima chalk that one up to an epic success.  Shoutout to my Kroger card.

Also, the pancakes are being cooked even as I type this.  I multitask like a fool.

They far exceeded my expectations, much thanks to this little addendum that I discovered:  one food guy's pancake breakthrough!  It is indeed a breakthrough.  If you separate the eggs and whisk the egg whites to soft peaks, and THEN add the egg whites after you've added everything else, you are actually no longer making pancakes but little patties of heaven.

It's true.  I know because I've eaten two in the process of cooking them.  My taste buds do not lie.

I'm going to take some to the boyfriend as a peace offering for being late, but considering the fact that my peace offering is a warm, banana-filled, light and fluffy, stack of heaven patties, I think I'll be forgiven.

These are so good, they make the dripping sound of the leak in my ceiling sound like background music.  Now, THAT is a good pancake.

Today:

Let me tell you a little about my day.

1.  I've fallen in love with hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com.

You will too.  Just try it out.

2.  I'm stinky.  I need a shower.  I had dance class today, and it was rough and tumble.  My hips are going to feel that tomorrow.  Leg swings.  Rolling around on the floor.  WHEW.

3.  My tolerance is diminishing in a particular type of social situation.  I'm gearing up for a big explanitory blog post.  Keep your ears up.  Meanwhile, see number 1.

4.  I dislike it when my professors have such severe and obvious chips on their shoulders (when it's plural it sounds like there's a stack of pringles hanging out on somebody's shoulder) about Jesus Christ. I understand that not everybody is a believer--oh trust me, I understand--but when that same professor speaks respectfully of all other faiths under the sun, it tells me that s/he has a personal and almost child-like rebellion from Christ.

Do you believe in Santa Claus? (if so this doesn't apply to you)

If NOT, does hearing someone talk about believing in Santa make you angry? Are you so vehemently against the belief in Santa? No. That seems a ridiculous way to respond. It's just that the whole thing isn't something you believe in. You don't feel the need to slam little kids who believe in Santa. Being angrily opposed to Christianity makes me wonder if maybe you are actually angry with God. It's mighty hard to be angry at someone you really don't think exists... Follow my logic?

That doesn't apply to everyone who doesn't follow Christ. But it's pretty clear that that's what's going on with a couple of my profs.

5. I'm about to watch the The Wizard of Oz with my dear friend Meg. So happy about that. :D

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Please note that I had to edit out some weird formatting stuff from earlier.  Sorry about that.  Silly Blogger-droid.

Thoughts While Writing a Paper

Children's books prepare us for college.

The Little Engine That Could made it up the hill of exams and cruised with friends into the happy land of the weekend.

Frieda Fuzzypaws learned to eat her veggies so that her immune system could fight the fall funk that's attacking everyone's respiratory systems.

There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly taught us that sometimes gossip about other people's eating habits may include valuable life lessons.

Green Eggs and Ham taught us that sometimes it's ok for things that aren't supposed to be green to be green anyway.  Actually, no, that's kinda not ok.

All those Eric Carle books showed us that often, pictures matter more than words.  Find articles for your paper with lots of pictures in them and you'll be far more interested in your paper topic.

Goodnight Moon taught us to say goodnight to every website that we frequent before going to bed.

And yes.  I definitely did just write this rather than a paper.  I'll be getting back to work now.

Lists for You

Hey folks :)
Recipes I'm thinking about:

1. Pumpkin pie
2. Grilled eggplant with crab meat and a creamy sauce (inspired by Louisiana Lagniappe in Alabama)
3. Butternut squash spice cake
4. Fall vegetable lasagna
5. Some sort of a homemade soup

Movies that I'd like to see:

1. Lovely, Still
2. Bran Nue Dae (maybe)
3. Jack Goes Boating

Things I'm reading [for school]:

1. Jacques Ellul on the "Betrayal of Technology" (look it up on youtube if you want an exciting brain exercise. Don't worry—there are subtitles)
2. Cultural Criminology: An Invitation AND Cultural Criminology: Unleashed (for those of you interested in questioning The Man and media's perpetuated assumptions about crime)
3. Readings on the Social Animal (social psychology – flipping fascinating)

Things that are really embarrassing:

1. Talking, rather awkwardly, with a classmate, and then ROYALLY inhaling a bucketful of water, thus coughing like mad and having to leave the room (it burns…)
2. Missing an answer to an absurd degree, proving without a doubt that the reading was not read.
3. Not knowing a) how many cylinders in my car b) for certain the year of my car ["I think it's an '04…] and c) how to explain what's wrong with my car any other way but through sound effects ["It's kinda like 'BDRUMBUMBUMBUM…bumbumbum…' Does that make sense?"]

Have a lovely day, you J

Talk It Out

Ya know how sometimes you just need to exhale words in large quantities to make life feel a little bit less heavy?

That was your warning.

My things to do list is taking over. Big things to do.  Not just "vacuum your room, Cole" --though that is on the list-- but rather things like, "fill out 10 page Pioneers formal application," and, "construct a list of people to send a support letter to, so I can start raising funds for a trip to India that's possibly happening in, oh, 4 months."  Other thing on the list include:

-graduating from college, which means

-muscling through one last semester of papers and exams while retaining some ounce of sanity

-doing lay counseling at my church, which requires being prayerfully and mentally prepared for each session--no exceptions

-planning a mission trip to India so I can answer God's call

-praying feverishly for peace about whatever comes AFTER graduation (please don't ask.  I have no idea.  I'm leaving it in God's capable hands, and that's a trust that doesn't come naturally to me).

I'm one of those people that can get stuff done, but when there's a whole lot of big stuff that is hovering over me, I start to shut down.  I get overwhelmed by the seemingly insurmountable obstacles stopping me up and all I want to do is curl into the fetal position.

Fun fact--not much gets done when one is in the fetal position.

And I don't have to literally be in the fetal position to be doing some really impressive avoiding.  In fact, I can seem to be very high functioning, going through all the daily movements that are necessary.  But often I'm ignoring the bigger, more important things on that "to do" list.  Because thinking about it all feels like too much, and I can't imagine it all getting done with the right amount of attention and care given to each element as is due.

It's a pretty dumb cycle.  It only serves to make me even more behind or pressed for time on those really important things.

Even my writing gets cyclical.

Gets cyclical even my writing.

On a related note...

This is you, folks!  I imagine the 2 from South Korea took a wrong turn, but hey!  They hung out with us long enough to be considered a visitor.

Cuz we're Mississippian (or Texan. Or Canadian) and that means we believe in hospitality.  So welcome, random Spaniard and fellow Danes!  I hope you can read English, because that's the only language we know here in America (save a few awesome individuals, not including my mono-lingual self).

Also, please note that Firefox and Windows are dominating.

Making pizza dough tonight, found on this fabulous site.  I believe I've blogged about such things before, but I didn't include the recipe link!  For shame.  I've remedied that now.  So go have a great evening :)

Modern modes of communication:

1 Cell phone
>talk
>text
>voicemail
2 Facebook
>wall
>chat
>comment
3 Twitter
>tweet
>reply
>direct message
4 Myspace
>justkidding
>nooneusesthis
5 AIM (or other instant messenger)
6 Webcam chat (skype, etc)
7 email
8 blog comment (hint hint)
9 snail mail
10 smoke signal
11 letter in a bottle

But nothing beats 12: face to face connection. There's something about seeing real 3 dimensional people, with their flaws and idiosyncrasies, that we desperately desire in order to connect as humans.

Things that stink:

- moving
- kitty poop
- me after a day of packing
- big girl expenses
- a boyfriend who eats adventurously and then gets food poisoning
- taping up a box only to realize that either 1) I need something out of said box or 2) I'm holding something else to put into said box

But can we talk about how excited I am about the upcoming living situation? :D

BOOKS!

Those that are recently behind me:

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Love and Obstacles by Aleksandar Hemon

Those in progress at the moment:

Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot (shoutout to Meg who's reading it with me!)
A Lifelong Passion: Nicholas and Alexandra which is a lovely collection of letters and documents that follows their precious and tragic romance.

Those on the horizon:

Frost On My Moustache by Tim Moore. A British fellow's Arctic travel memoir.
The Great Cat Massacre and Other Episodes in French History by Robert Darnton
How Cities Work by Alex Marshall (shoutout to the gentleman caller, who is contagiously interested in proper urban development)
Embracing the Wide Sky by Daniel Tammet (which I'll first bless onto Lindsay to read to further her interest in the wonders of the brain)

If you have reading suggestions that fill any of the following criteria, by ALL means, please suggest away:

-I must leave the book having learned something. This is a requirement. Reading something that teaches me, deliberately, about life, God, myself, or mankind makes me feel like I've spent my time well with that book.

-Currently trying on some non-fiction, but by heavens, PLEASE offer something that will entice me and not bore me. See above for examples.

-I'm always a fan of a little romance, as long as we're not talking about long hair, glistening abs, and torn shirts on the cover (shudder...).

-Open minded about the type of book--I could go for poetry, a children's book, a mystery novel, whatevs. Talk me into something I won't regret :)

And then everyone who ever liked my blog disappeared

Because for about 7 days Cole fell off the face of the planet.

At least that's what Anton tells me will happen if I don't post regularly.

And I trust him on blog things.

And travel things.

And most movie things.

And probably all God things (this hasn't been fully tested--simply because that's not exactly possible. I mean, "What do you think of God's haircut?" "Rubbish." "I disagree!" It could happen.)

And urban development things (though I did pick up a book on it in the library so I can at least keep up with him when he talks about it now. Well, I have to read it first, I guess).

And physical safety things.

He is real strong, after all.



Ok, folks. I miss him. Ok? There. I said it. In type.

And I ain't apologizing.



Dear California,

Please release my gentleman caller and return him safely to me.

Love,
Mississippian in Texas