Self deception is a tricky, prickly thing. I bumped into an old acquaintance recently, and I was reminded of the dangers of that kind of thinking--whether intentional or not. I know of some who very deliberately deceive themselves, whether to help squish a bad habit or to come to terms with a very difficult choice. I've been there, too. On more than one sad occasion, each lasting far too long, I've tricked myself into believing that I was of little worth, and thus accepted being treated as such. It's frightening to realize that our own minds have the ability to change our perception of reality in very real and sometimes lasting ways. Thankfully God has come to rescue me from that place each time, reminding me that I am esteemed by Him as no less than a child of God.
The saddest part about bumping into this old acquaintance was that he is fighting daily to rid his mind of those deceptions--he has for a long time. He has bravely faced fears and changed behaviors, even if living honestly meant living a more uncomfortable life. Unfortunately, there are some issues still at stake in his life that he holds to, not knowing (or caring to know) how truly he has deceived himself, making all these other choices futile until he overcomes these grander things. Pride, sneaky unperceived pride, creates cruel barriers between who we are and who we are made to be. We must take up arms against it daily and fully expect pride to fight dirty, while we we fight to win honestly.
This will read like a pile of bologna unless you know this about yourself and/or a loved one.
On a totally different note, I have a summer list of things to do (for myself, but borrow from it, by all means!):
1. Find a friend with a pool and enjoy it.
2. Wear sunscreen. A lot of it.
3. Dive into a Bible study (join me? Even if you're long distance! I'd love that!)
4. Read. Ravenously.
5. Visit home, visit a body of water, visit an old friend, visit a new friend
6. Plan this second India trip!!!
7. Firmly establish myself as #1 girlfriend by kicking Jared's upcoming quarter-century birthday in the pants (metaphorically)
8. Study French
9. Paint
10. Learn to play a few things on the guitar
If you have any interest in joining me on any of these adventures, comment, call, message, visit, smoke signal, or telegraph me.
Love you.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
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