Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Thursday, August 11, 2011

To Do

Oh heavens.  My list of things to do is going to eat me.

To do tomorrow:

-Babysit (woo!)
-Write about 25 thank you notes to preschool teachers (no woo.)
-Address those notes
-Write a script for a preschool teacher training video
-Find people to play in said video

To do within a week:

-Plan and successfully execute said training video
-Crank out 8 lesson plans for Indian kiddos
-Find oodles of people who want to be preschool teachers this fall
-Find even more people who wanna be preschool teachers this fall
-Officially slap my name on a cute 1-bedroom apartment (woo!)

To do before India:

-Round up substitute teachers out the wa-zoo for while I'm gone
-Edit training video
-Train the oodles of preschool teachers
-Make sure the oodles of preschool teachers are screened, etc
-Begin to pack to move
-Definitely pack for India

Thanks for walking me through that.

I know, I know... Keep calm and carry on.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Very Image of Productivity

Hey folks :)

Well, last night I felt UN-PLEASANT.  As in, are you aware of Cole's biggest fear/least favorite thing in the whole wide world?

No?

Mkay.  Don't laugh.

My biggest fear and least favorite thing in the whole wide world is throwing up.

And I felt very ill last night.  I shall spare you details, because I'm a kind blogger.

So I'm working from home today, because I'm still weak and shaky and fearful.  Gotta take it easy, ya know.  So easy I shall take it...



... Ok, I've got to get brain away from thoughts of internal unpleasantness.

I know!  I have 1945735 things to do for work!  I'll knock those out!

So, I'm all "look at me being productive through my fear!  Music on!  Emails sending!  Organizing work schtuff!"  And all of the sudden....

Emails not sending?  Why emails not sending?  Music still playing.  Internet still working.

Just emails not sending.

Emails can't not send.  I have too many of them.  I have no carrier pigeons in my possession.  I don't know anyone who knows how to read smoke signals.  I can't text these folks like we're BFFEOW (best friends forever'n'ever or whatever).

So my productivity came to an unprecedented HALT.

I took that opportunity to say hello :)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Digital Religion 8-10 page paper

Mmmmmmok.

So.

About this paper.

It has to happen.  Like, in a pronto-kinda-fashion.

But my brain just DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. GO. THERE.

It's the last undergrad paper I ever have to write, and I seem to've hit the wall.

Good news - I have a basic idea of what it's going to be about.

Bad news - knowing that I have the basic structure has given me a false sense of accomplishment.

So...

I'm about thisclose to the PANIC! bit.

But not close enough to "begin working furiously fueled only by shame and fear."

And if getting 85% of the paper done is making an 85 on the paper, then that's PLENTY close enough, because I just have to make a 78 on the paper to snag me a good old fashioned, final-semester-of-college-style B in the class.

And when you take a class called "Digital Religion"--"B" stands for Beautiful.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Alive and Kicking!

It's probably unkind to leave readers hanging after a post titled "boom." I'm alive and well. Eight days of finals, and then I'm done.

Finished.

Completed.

No more undergraduate college- EVER.

CRAZY.

It's so strange because this is the point I've been working toward for 21 years, and people say so flippantly, "oh yeah? What's next for you?" like this is something rather insignificant. I mean, yes, I have a full exciting life ahead of me, but do I have to have that planned out right now? Can I savor this moment for a little while?

What did YOU do right out of undergrad? Did you have a game plan? Better yet, how did God take that plan and make it His own?

Here's my challenge for myself and for you for the next 2 weeks, whether you're trudging through finals or not: every waking hour of the day, take note of a blessing- big or small. It sounds like a big assignment, but think about it. This hour, I'm blessed with a writing outlet from my warm bed on a Monday morning. Amen??

Write them all down if you can, and post one or two as your Facebook statuses or tweets every day. Spread your joy, thankfulness, and wide-eyed wonder with those you know and care about.

It's so much sweeter than sharing negativity and germs.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Sunday, November 28, 2010

BOOM!

That's what's going on inside me right now.

Remember how I moved about 3 months ago? Doing it again this week. Remember how I'm graduating in 3 weeks? Still happening, but I have a hard time imagining all these assignments getting done in time. I needed this break real bad--holy moly, it has been awesome seeing family--but now I have a lot to do and even less time to do it in.

And emotions (and all things that inspire them), you are gonna have to go away for 2.5 weeks. I just don't have time and energy for you right now. Too much going on outside for things on the inside to be all rattled around too.

And dear readers, any blog post that I write between now and December 14 is going to sound like this I imagine. I'm $900 away from being funded for the India trip, and any spiritual encouragement on that subject or any of the aforementioned subjects is not just appreciated, but 100% needed.

I love you. Lots.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Day

You know what I'm talking about. It's The Day when the world seems like its conspiring against you. It's The Day when nobody's doing ya any favors. It's The Day when you feel hard as a rock, pushing through, cynical as all get-out.

Paper due tomorrow. Take-home exam due tomorrow. Neither completed (or close to it).

But I'm going to see family tomorrow :) That's a lovely light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll make it through these silly assignments. I'll grab some food and next thing I know it'll be finished. This time tomorrow, I'll be turning in that exam and peaceing out to go get a hug from my sister.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

That time of the year...

...when I have to relearn how to breathe.

It's also that time of the year that it gets a little chilly, which makes my fingers a little thinner, which means my ring slides around my finger while I type.

It's annoying.

Ok.  That's all the study break I get.  Back to Comte and Spencer and Marx and some poor man with the name Feuerbach.

Breathe in.... Breathe out.... Breathe in.... Breathe out....

Monday, September 20, 2010

I'm a multifunctional nerd.

Little known fact:  I like doing math/working with numbers.

Now, do I make ridiculous mistakes while doing it?  Yes.  I'm a humanities and social sciences gal, not a math and hard sciences gal.  I'm just not wired to be good at that stuff.  Chemistry and physics?  Shoot me in the face.  Ethnography and theatre?  Loooove it.

But nonetheless, doing math puzzles is a stress reliever.  It's kinda weird.

Roomie just asked for my help figuring out a GPA conundrum.

Four scenarios:  What would GPA be if a) she made a B in this class, b) she made an A in this class, c) she made this a pass/no credit class, and d) she dropped this class and miraculously does better than she expects in this other class.

Did I make about 3 mistakes before arriving at the right answers?  Yes.  But did I get to the answers eventually? Yes. Did I love doing those kind of calculations?  OH yes.  I mean, these 4 answers were a couple of thousandths of points different from one another, but for nerdy folk like us, those minuscule points of points matter.

During finals weeks, I figure out the best and worst case scenarios, class grade- and then GPA- wise.  It's how I de-stress.  Is this normal?  Probably not.  This kind of de-stressing goes with people who are stressed out by zen gardens, love sudoku, and get really competitive when course signup day comes around (I'm cutthroat.  Outa my way).

[Just seeing this stresses me out.  Those lines are not straight!  IT IS DISPLEASING TO THE EYE!  WHERE IS THE ORDER AND STRUCTURE??  OH THE HUMANITY!]


Need a budget plan?  Come find me this time next week.  I'll be prepping for 3 tests and a paper, and I'll be desperate for something to arrange/organize/plan/calculate.

I wish studying and paper-writing were de-stressing for me.  They're quite the opposite, though.  They're distressing.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

MY BRAIN!

The title of this post comes from an exclamation that my friend Mary and I would shout at each other while studying for statistics.

That was easy peasy compared to the jumble going on in my head right now.

Ok, maybe not.

96.4% of statistics students say that statistics is no fun to study for.

3.6% of statistics students suffer from a strange disorder that causes the brain to enjoy studying for statistics.

It is written. Amen.



But seriously. Lots going on right now--all good things! But I wish I could devote all the brain power needed to each thing! It's hard to do that when my brain is being rolled out like cookie dough and divided among 7 major projects, only 4 of which I can think of off the top of my head right now. Yeah. It's reached that point.

So what do you do to organize your brain? How do you mentally straighten, plan, designate, file, maneuver, macgyver, or manhandle all the things that need to step in line?

I'm trying the timeline approach. I like this one. This means pulling out your planner and getting jiggy with it. This means breaking up your projects into steps and giving them each a time slot based on urgency and importance. Do you have to plan a bridal shower for somewhere between 14 and 20 gals? That's a multi-step process. That means making the invitations and making the food for the shindig DO NOT go together on the timeline (otherwise you'll have no guests or gross food). Moving your entire life from an apartment to a house may somehow need to fit between envelope-licking and quiche-baking. Moving your entire life from an apartment to a house is ALSO a multi-step process, though! It's best to have very few multi-step things going on at once. Your brain threatens to shut down. Kinda like a 5-year-old laptop. Or a 5-year-old child.

It's best if you can avoid financial stressors, tearful goodbyes, lack of hot water, and thoughts of theatre auditions while several multi-step events are in the works.

You should also try not to lose your planner while moving your entire life from said apartment to said house.

In short, do as I say, not as I do.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Things I need:

- A clean bathroom (I'm getting there, I'm getting there)

- A claw foot tub (preferably clean. See above)

- A personal assistant (a super passive [NOT aggressive] efficient female, preferably, if you're applying)

- An evening date with my boyfriend that doesn't involve us both in complete and utter exhaustion (how is THIS summer?)

- Some new clothing items that magically fit and appear in my closet without the awful shopping process

- Lunch with my dear friend (nay, sister) Meg

- Several days with my for real sister, Jane :)

- Godly focus (these are not in order of importance. Cuz this one is #1)

- Sunday afternoon (Trinity Shakespeare Festival opens tonight and runs through the weekend. 3 receptions to be in charge of over the course of 36 hours. Eye twitch.)

- To turn 21, NOT so that I can drink, but so that I can go to the Scat Jazz Lounge downtown. Because I am on an epic jazz kick and I want to hear live jazz in a jazzy atmosphere real bad.

- A breath mint (Just ate Chipotle. With onions and peppers. Almost finished the entire burrito. Amen.)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

What's Next?

So I start round 2 of summer classes tomorrow.

I have a meeting in 7 hours.

My gentleman caller's birthday is in T minus 3 days. He doesn't want any things, but he wants something. (Let us pray)

Trinity Shakes starts in a week.

I'm knitting a lace-y scarf.

I'm moving in 2 months and I don't exactly have any furniture.

In 6 months I'll be dominating my last round of finals.

I may go to India in January or February 2011.

I don't have any decent breakfast food in my apartment.

I'm so incredibly and genuinely happy with life right now :)

Friday, May 7, 2010

4 AM

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/rives_on_4_a_m.html

This link makes the fact that I'm writing a paper--the last paper of the semester--feel incredibly epic.

I'm so close!!!

God's preserving me--no seriously. I am AMAZED that I am still cognitively functioning right now. I love it.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Mhm it's officially finals week

Mildly freakin out over here, folks. Many of you will roll your eyes at this ridiculousness. I'm aware of this. However, in the nerdy-world, this is business time.

This is the part of the week where I have a minor meltdown and my procrastination hangs it's sorry head in utter shame.

SHAME, I TELL YOU!

Procrastination can be fun---EXCEPT---why would you put off what's going to hang like a heavy grey cloud over your head for the next x amount of time? It puts a jolly damper on you and your fun! But did I listen to this advice? No... So here I am at finals week, staring at what I haven't done yet.

Facebook? I shun you. I block you [again]. Google reader? I'll be back, but it'll be a while. Blog? I may need you as an outlet this week. You are spared.

Ok. Nutrition tomorrow (it's a cumulative whopper), Ethnography on Tuesday (let's discuss how Cole hasn't finished the reading for that one) and Aging Social Policy on Tuesday (let's talk about how Cole hasn't even made a dent in that reading material...), and a paper for Evangelicalism on Thursday (currently that paper is a page of typed notes and about 20 pages of research that has to magically become a paper in, oh, my spare time).

Current GPA: 3.86
Possible GPA after this finals week: 3.45

That's going from magna cum laude to zilch, folks. That's "what a sweet little scholarship I have" to ZILCH, folks.

THAT'S ONLY 3 B'S, FOLKS! I also realize that it is possible for me to get A's in those classes. But that looks like it would be a holy miracle as I face it all now.

I'm gonna go study and stuff. Thank you for letting me stress at you.



***edit***

Don't try to do math when you're stressed. Scratch that potential .41 drop in my GPA with 3 B's. That's a big burly [comforting] mathmatical mistake. That kind of a drop would mean that I made D's in ~3 classes. I do liberal and performing arts--not math and science.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Too annointed to be disappointed

That's what a friend said yesterday.

"Cole, you're too annointed to be disappointed!"

Wasn't exactly applicable yesterday ("you're too blessed to be stressed!" was far more appropriate). But it's right on the money for today.

I want and I fear. My two most frustrating feelings. Trying to figure out how much of those to shut up, rationalize, and allow. Many thanks to a dear sister in Christ for helping me with that one.

Stupid feelings.

Last day of classes! Next is dead days, the most stressful weekend of the semester, and then finals week. So 2 papers and 3 exams to go. God help us all.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hm...

Does anyone else find it ridiculous that I just looked up--on the Internet--how to decrease eye exhaustion and headaches due to looking at a screen for too long?

Just checking.

By the way, a few answers include:
- increase the light levels around the screen itself (turn on a lamp to the side of the screen)
- decrease the brightness and/or contrast on your computer
- kiss your computer screen very tenderly and ask it to be gentle with you
- oh, and rest your eyes every few minutes by......

(wait for it).......
.....
....
...
..

NOT LOOKING AT THE SCREEN FOR A FEW MINUTES!

BRILLIANT!

Monday, April 19, 2010

A Letter From God

This was sent in an email to me today. I misted up a bit. It came just when it was needed. Praise God for His people who encourage us weaklings in the rough times.

This is the day that I have made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that I am pouring into this brief portion of your life. Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them. This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.

To find Joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty four-hour segments. I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past. There is abundant life in My Presence today.


Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Planner madness

Going a tad crazy.

Planner is threatening to eat me alive.

Overwhelmed with all the things to do!

This post is for me. Not you. Needing some organization.

Tomorrow:
- church :)
- Midsummer makeup
- Mortar Board stupidity
- (strike?)
- dinner with Soul Care folks
- study for big unfriendly nutrition exam
- write big cruel social policy memo that's due Tuesday

Monday:
- take big unfriendly nutrition exam
- no seriously. write the policy memo. and do the powerpoint
- rehearsal
- oh yeah. Japan class (time sucker...)
- NO SERIOUSLY, COLE, WRITE THE POLICY THINGY!

Rest of the week:
- rehearsal
- classes (time suckers...)
- evangelicalism presentation (AAHHHH!)
- more rehearsal
- weekend: ETHNOGRAPHY PROJECT COMING UP!! JAPAN PAPER COMING UP!! TECH REHEARSAL!!

Next week:
- performance
- research paper due (AAAAHHH!)
- Japan paper due (uuugghhh...)
- "final discussion" for evangelicalism
- frou frou sociology dinner
- weekend: *inhale...*

Finals week:
- nutritionfinalethnographyfinalagingfinal
- Wednesday: *inhale...*
- turninevangelicalismfinalpaper
- hibernate/snuggle for a full 24 hours.