Stages of [Body] Grief (edited from wikipedia)

1. Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."  Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of [the excess that has accumulated around her legs].
2. Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"  Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.  [She really wanted to still have her high school dancer legs and tush.]
3. Bargaining — "I'll do anything for [lean, fit legs]."; "I will give my life savings if [I could just feel fit, but not really]."  The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay [flabbiness]. Usually, the negotiation for an extended [fitness] is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will [not be fit if I don't exercise], but if I could just do something to buy more time [with that youthful, overtime-working metabolism]..."
4. Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to [gain weight]... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved [legs], why go on?"  During the fourth stage, the [unfit] person begins to understand the certainty of [flabbiness]. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the [unfit] person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
5. Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well [just do] it."
   In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with the fact that she is going to have to start exercising if she wants to look and feel better about her body.

Folks, I've reached the 5th stage.  If you need me, I will be trying out workout regimen #1 this afternoon.  God, help me.