Mean Girls and Salesmen

Every generation that goes through maturation in our society has to learn this one particular lesson: true friendships do not emerge from dispositional compliance.

Mkay I felt your eyes glaze over for a sec. No need for that. "Dispositional compliance" is another word for peer pressure, essentially. It's doing some people-pleasing act in order to gain favor from someone that you don't have a history with or loyalty to.

Example: every compromising act in Mean Girls. Every time the pre-alcoholic Lindsay Lohan does something that she doesn't agree with in order to gain access to the world of the plastics, she is engaging in dispositional compliance.

The vast majority of us are people-pleasers. We want people to like us. Even people that we don't know. For example, the Asch conformity experiments showed that many people would answer questions incorrectly if those around them answered incorrectly, even though they knew the right answer and had answered it correctly before. Why? They wanted these complete strangers to like them.

Salesmen are aware of this phenomenon. But they make it even harder to avoid the compliance, because they try to make you like them. Then you feel emotionally invested in them, and you're less likely to turn them down.

Which is why I'm mean to salesmen and employees who work on commission.

(Apologies for the poor grammar and spelling. Blogging in class means only half of my brain is engaged. More on the failures of "multitasking" later)

Birthdays

Today I'm considered a year older than I was yesterday. Strange social phenomenon. Today I can do things that I couldn't do yesterday (Hi, I'm Cole, and I'm 21 years old.) simply because I have aged one day. Fascinating.

Birthdays make people feel differently, depending on their personality, the number tacked onto their identity that year, physical and emotional hangups about age, etc. For the vast majority of people turning 21, there is a lot of excitement and happiness about birthdays. If, today, there is a woman turning 59, though, she may not be feeling the same *woohoo!* that I'm feeling (though I sincerely hope that she is).

Personally, the thing that I am MOST excited about today is that I get to go to the Scat Jazz Lounge--FINALLY! AND I can go to the liquor store and buy rum to make chocolate rum cupcakes!!! They're freaking delicious. Trust me. Worth getting excited about.

But this morning for my birthday, I'm reading my homework for my classes today. Just thought I'd pop in and say hi to you guys :)

Have a lovely day!

Love My Major

"What is the shelf life of a [social] norm..."

 

That kind of thought makes my brain fire up like nobody's business.  I mean for real.  I could think about that for years.

 

In fact, I think I will.

 

I geekily love sociology.  Thanks for putting up with me :)

Obligatory Back To School Post

Yes, I'm brilliantly excited. But I also know that everybody and their mama is writing about the first day back to school.

Or maybe I should follow fewer mom blogs.

But dooce is so FABULOUS!

So anyway.

I want to go to Spain. And Switzerland. And India. Not in that order.

There are about 100 other places just off the top of my head. I want to go with my beau. And I want to go right after graduation. Ok, maybe right after the India mission trip :)

I think about this because college is kinda like a zoo right now, but with more gladiator sandals and gym shorts than your standard zoo.

Deep southern sense of humor: life's good. It's just hard. Ya gotta make it funny sometimes.

Fun fact: today is happy syllabus day. Also known as "tears of freshmen day". There's a lot of anxiety going on on campus right now. Not me though :) Though I do really need a back rub. Knots like CRAZY.

Ready for my beau to get back and ready for my new bike to move in at my place :)

My Superpower

The handsome gentleman caller noticed this about me before I did. I mean, I guess I knew it, but I didn't realize it was necessarily unique to me. Apparently so, and now that it's been pointed out, I can see what he means.

When I make up my mind to do something and say it aloud, it happens. And 9 times out of 10 it happens or significantly starts to happen within 24 hours. I'm very careful with big-ish decisions, and often I think things out 100% before they reach my lips, so when I vocalize it, it's almost like I'm giving myself permission to begin. I guess the human norm is to say "I'm playing with this idea" rather than "This is about to happen."

It kinda feels like a super power.

For instance, I say, "I think I'm supposed to go to India and share the gospel." A week later a full fledged itinerary is outlined (that process usually takes several months). [Please note that I'll be talking lots more about this soon]. I say, "I think I need a new living situation" and that day I arrange to meet with someone to take over my lease at the jungle house (another story for another day). I say, "I think I'm going to change my major and minor." I look online and, oh look! The 2 classes that I need for the new major and minor are open and waiting for me. I say, "I want a kitty" and HELLO cute little black kitten sitting on my front porch! Things just seem to move so quickly!

Take today's bike adventure for example. I've had this precious blue Schwinn Trailway bike for about a year. It often hurts my knees when I ride it (I have janky knees, and I cannot for the life of me get the seat situated where it DOESN'T hurt). But I love having a bike! I live a couple of blocks from campus, so driving to campus makes no sense (I'd end up walking the same distance from the parking spot as I would if I had just parked at my house). But honestly, I dread riding to campus because the uphill bits make my knees go nuts.

I know, I know. Riding a bike shouldn't be painful on my knees, it's probably just that my seat is too low, oh I should raise it, you say?

Well how about this, smarty panties: I've already raised the seat so high that I have to FALL OFF my bike to get off of it. Let me tell you just how graceful THAT looks. It's crazy embarrassing. In case you were wondering. So no, I will NOT raise my bike seat another centimeter.

But I was gonna totally deal with it, knowing nothing about bikes, and assuming that all bikes would do this.

Until today.

I opened my mouth and said that I was thinking about trading my trailway in for something else. Something more upright. Something maybe a little older-styled. Something that would accommodate bike baskets (because the current one does not without kinda messing with the brake cables).

And so it is done. Within 4 hours of those words tumbling out of my mouth, I now have money down on a late '70s model green Schwinn Breeze with baskets on the front and back. And I've sold the blue trailway.

I researched the value of my bike and put it on the market, then I called around town asking if anyone had any used/refurbished models.

"Well," he says at Panther City Bikes. "I've got this older women's Schwinn breeze. But it's a cruiser with baskets and stuff."

"So... Something kinda like this:



? But with baskets?

Oh, that's funny because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!!!" :D

But I mean, let's negotiate the price. There's no way it's going for what I'm looking for.

Oh, it's selling for the EXACT SAME PRICE THAT I'M SELLING MY CURRENT BIKE FOR?

Well ain't that convenient :D

And less than 30 minutes after posting a facebook status that I'm selling my bike, I get a text from my dear old roommate who wants to buy the bike.

I'll get her check the same day that a new cable gets put on my new bike, so I'll be able to go pick it up. And her hubby-to-be is coming to town next week to carry her new bike to her.

Oh, and next week is my birthday :)

Happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me...

Once upon a time...

The gentleman caller and I hung out all the time and cooked a lot and had lots of goofy fun.

Now he's far far away and I have to cook by myself, but still for two because I forgot how to cook just enough for one person.

But never fear, he's coming back soon. Then leaving again for more work. I don't wanna talk about that part. I'm living in denial until that actually happens. Then I'll be in crisis mode again and I'll watch this video for encouragement.

Ok but seriously, his work is a beautiful blessing. I just don't like the part where he goes away from lil ole me to do it. It's hard to be thankful for something that feels sad.

So tonight I'm trying a recipe from the not-so-distant past, and hopefully this time it'll go a little better than last time! See, last time the gentleman caller and I made this tasty lemon basil chicken pasta deliciousness, we halved the recipe--except I didn't half the lemon juice (totally my bad). It was delicious but crazy tart. Trying it again, solo cook style, for me and my roommate.

Turns out I have all the ingredients except half-and-half (and maybe an extra lemon or 2). Love it when that happens. Lemon and basil have been my flavors of choice this summer. And eggs have been my staple ingredient. All good things.

And who's adding wilted kale to her grilled chicken with lemon basil pasta?
COLE's adding wilted kale to her grilled chicken with lemon basil pasta. Amen.

Birthday in T minus 9 days. :D

Today!

Waaaaa-elllll... (that's a deep south lazy "well" for those of you not so well-versed in MS vernacular)

Summertime's threatening to wrap up soon. Let's not talk about it.

My living situation is awesome. Minor bug problem, but ya know whatevs. It happens when you have a big pretty tree outside your house. With a dead limb, but that's a whole nother ball a'twine.

I miss my sister. That could be what's producing the accent coming out of my fingertips.

It may also come from the unbearable heat going down at the moment. That's the part of the summer that I'm excited to say aidos to.

I want to ride my bike so bad, but biking in this heat sounds like a suicide mission.

So my generic brand "magic bullet" blender is now my best friend in the kitchen. Afternoon snack today: blueberries, mango slices, and vanilla yogurt (with a splash of milk). Pureed together to form perfect harmony in smoothie form. And it lived happily ever after--IN MY BELLY!

from http://www.flowtown.com/blog/the-2010-social-networking-map?display=wide

Genius.

Music Neuroses, or Cole Needs iPod Assistance

Hello there my lovelies :)

Ok. "My lovelies" will always sound like it's coming from a creepy old woman. I apologize for putting you through that.

So lets get right to the meat of the problem--my iPod may be on its last leg.

I can't remember how I functioned without this little machine. Poddy and I have been through so much together. Remember when I first fell for Regina Spektor? Yeah. We were together then. It was even with me when I got this computer!

Which means there's music on Poddy that's not on this computer.

Which means if Poddy dies, I will lose the Moulin Rouge soundtrack and other beloved music that makes me nostalgic and smiley.

It means I'll lose To Catch A Thief and several audiobooks that I got from my dad's computer (which is technically connected to the same account, but I can't access the things I purchase on that computer on MY computer. Even with the wonders of the Internet. Apple fail).

Basically, this ipod is a work of art that I've carefully crafted, song by song, playlist by playlist, for about 5 years. And it's threatening to die, taking all of that with it.

I CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN!

So how do I take the music/movies/podcasts/audiobooks/etc from my iPod and put it on my computer? I don't know how to do these things. You might. If so, share your mental wealth with those less fortunate.

PS, I run iTunes on Windows. No mac for me. The charming Gentleman Caller knows how to transfer tunes to his mac from Poddy, but knows not the wonders of Windows. Enlighten us.

Also, my computer crashed about 6 months ago, sending me into a panicked state, but almost everything was recovered--at least file-wise. The info on the music, like when I first added it to my computer, was lost. I keep track of music like it lives on a timeline of my life. Losing that "date added" is still hard for me to talk about. I got those songs at that particular time for a reason. It was almost like someone tore out all the pages of my journals, erased all the dates, put the entries in alphabetical order by first word and handed the pages back to me, as though nothing had really been affected.

I'm apparently weirdly attached to my music. I didn't realize this wasn't normal until the Gentleman Caller gently called me out for being a mild nutcase about my ipod.

Ok so one more technical issue. Because my computer crashed and I had to restart iTunes, it says I can't access my purchased music because I've already registered my max # of 5 computers. But this IS one of the 5 registered computers! It just doesn't recognize it because it got a face lift!

I'M RIGHT HERE ITUNES! YOU KNOOOOOOOOOOOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

What do I do? I can't access the other computers to deactivate my account on those.

1. One's a long gone friend's computer (I was young and stupid. I didn't understand the "register on this computer?" thing then, and now it'd be super weird to call her up and be all "oh hai, we haven't talked in, oh, 4 years. Can you deactivate my account on your computer? kthnxbye!")
2. one's on a dead laptop (like, dead and gone. RIP)
3. one's on my dad's computer (this is allowed. He needs good music. Amen.)
4. one's on this computer, but iTunes doesn't know that, because of the whole crash-and-frankenstein-back-to-life thing,

and who knows where the other one is. Probably in the same realm as the long lost friend thing.

This is a weirdly long post.

I just wanted technical help.

Was all this necessary?

*the resounding chorus of 3 people who've made it this far scream NO! SHUT UP ALREADY! WE'RE LOST IN YOUR NEUROSES AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!*

So throw me advice, God bless you, and have a fabulous and productive week.

MY BRAIN!

The title of this post comes from an exclamation that my friend Mary and I would shout at each other while studying for statistics.

That was easy peasy compared to the jumble going on in my head right now.

Ok, maybe not.

96.4% of statistics students say that statistics is no fun to study for.

3.6% of statistics students suffer from a strange disorder that causes the brain to enjoy studying for statistics.

It is written. Amen.



But seriously. Lots going on right now--all good things! But I wish I could devote all the brain power needed to each thing! It's hard to do that when my brain is being rolled out like cookie dough and divided among 7 major projects, only 4 of which I can think of off the top of my head right now. Yeah. It's reached that point.

So what do you do to organize your brain? How do you mentally straighten, plan, designate, file, maneuver, macgyver, or manhandle all the things that need to step in line?

I'm trying the timeline approach. I like this one. This means pulling out your planner and getting jiggy with it. This means breaking up your projects into steps and giving them each a time slot based on urgency and importance. Do you have to plan a bridal shower for somewhere between 14 and 20 gals? That's a multi-step process. That means making the invitations and making the food for the shindig DO NOT go together on the timeline (otherwise you'll have no guests or gross food). Moving your entire life from an apartment to a house may somehow need to fit between envelope-licking and quiche-baking. Moving your entire life from an apartment to a house is ALSO a multi-step process, though! It's best to have very few multi-step things going on at once. Your brain threatens to shut down. Kinda like a 5-year-old laptop. Or a 5-year-old child.

It's best if you can avoid financial stressors, tearful goodbyes, lack of hot water, and thoughts of theatre auditions while several multi-step events are in the works.

You should also try not to lose your planner while moving your entire life from said apartment to said house.

In short, do as I say, not as I do.

Modern modes of communication:

1 Cell phone
>talk
>text
>voicemail
2 Facebook
>wall
>chat
>comment
3 Twitter
>tweet
>reply
>direct message
4 Myspace
>justkidding
>nooneusesthis
5 AIM (or other instant messenger)
6 Webcam chat (skype, etc)
7 email
8 blog comment (hint hint)
9 snail mail
10 smoke signal
11 letter in a bottle

But nothing beats 12: face to face connection. There's something about seeing real 3 dimensional people, with their flaws and idiosyncrasies, that we desperately desire in order to connect as humans.

Things that stink:

- moving
- kitty poop
- me after a day of packing
- big girl expenses
- a boyfriend who eats adventurously and then gets food poisoning
- taping up a box only to realize that either 1) I need something out of said box or 2) I'm holding something else to put into said box

But can we talk about how excited I am about the upcoming living situation? :D